Uh, it’s not easy for me. I used to be afraid of being seen, judged and criticised. I was ashamed for most of my life. I kept stuff for myself. Hyper-independence. People’s pleaser. Self-esteem was so low.
My HS pushed me to the role that I had avoided for about 2 years. Maybe I should get used to that emotional striptease 
am about to do. This forum is a special place for me. I learned a lot. Sometimes, one sentence directed me to the right path. If anyone deserves to get to know me better, it is you.
I’m writing this for you. For every person who is dealing with shit, pain, embarrassment, shame, broken heart in silence. I’ve never shared so much publicly. So, with you, I am going to reach another milestone.
I came to the Earth ages ago. My soul’s origin is a hybrid of Polarian and Archangel, carrying the best of both worlds. I went through many lifetimes fighting for humanity and learning. I’m the Divine Feminine part of this soul, and I was intensely trained as the Knight of Light, shaman, High Priestess, mind sorceress, scientist, witch, and exorcist. Just to name a few, always as a rebel and against demons. Sounds impressive, isn’t it?
And I spent most of my life thinking I was not worthy of love, weak, and just an average-looking girl.
None of you here are just simple humans. Humans aren’t simple. We carry the history of glory and pain and Matrix makes you believe that you’re just no one, you don’t matter, you have no impact, you should be quiet.
What did they do to me to stop me from discovering my true self?
My biological father didn’t want me. Rejection no 1 of many.
My mum was kicked out by my grandpa when she said she was pregnant. He took her back a few weeks or months later but her fear was significant. I felt that. I felt everything. I felt guilty that I was born for most of my life. I felt unwanted. I felt like a burden. Even when no one said anything like that.
My grandpa rejected me when I was born because I was a girl. I became his favourite granddaughter when I was a few weeks old. I’m still his favourite, but the rejection was deeply imprinted on me. It became a part of me.
I saw my first demon when I was 3 years old. Since then, I was attacked very often. I always closed my eyes. I was too scared to see it again. My family didn’t know how to support me. They all were scared, so I stopped talking.
I was molested as a child. As an adult, too.
My family was very toxic. Immature adults. I felt responsible for everyone since very beginning. Everyone shared their secrets with me because I had that angelic energy and everyone burdened me with their problems. And because I felt guilty of being born I took everything on my shoulders and tried to solve adults problems. A great skill to have now 
I was molested by my classmate when I was in primary school. The school was torture. I suffered from migraines all the time, but I learned to defend myself. Also, my younger sister was trouble, and I had to fight with her bullies many times. I protected other kids who were bullied. Love and protect is my core. And I am proud of it.
There were many more traumas in my life. The list is long. Homeless, PTSD, near-death experience. All healed.
My love life was challenging gently speaking. My heart was broken many times:
*My first love had chosen another girl. My second love, too.
*I had to end my first engagement - toxic.
*Second engagement - he had been possessed by a demon, cheated on me several times, destroyed my self-esteem, and gave me years of pure hell.
*He was my long-distance friend, that turned into real love. We planned to start a family. I was about to back to Poland for him. He chose his ex. God, it hurt more than years with the previous one.
*Another karmic, long relationship, we even got engaged (lasted 1 week), I needed to leave. On and off, on and off, until I couldn’t any longer.
*I was scammed by a guy on Tinder. And I lost a lot of money. The amount of shame… I lost dignity back then. I lost faith in people but mostly in my own intuition. I considered myself intelligent until that moment. After that, my self-esteem was beyond 0.
*I thought he was my Twin Flame. Still, I haven’t figured out who he is until now. He ghosted me. First time in my life. I suffered for a very long time. I felt so connected to him. Thanks to that, I learned how to do multiverse relationship healing. I needed that for all other connections that happened after him. When you have broken heart you will attract more reasons for that.
*A man that I loved for most of my time on Earth. Very old, very karmic love, very strong bond. He broke my heart many times in the past two years, rejecting me. I struggled so hard to let him go. I love him but he didn’t feel the same way and it was shattering and painful because I remembered our lives and our love, he didn’t. I think it was the hardest lesson of letting go.
*One of my soulmates got me pregnant and then said he did not want to be involved. I lost that child. I went on an extreme ancestral clearing after that. I lost my baby because of dark magic that was on both sides.
*Someone with whom I did energy work. He was so into spirituality. He made me feel so safe I’ve never felt before in my life. I even added him to my bloodline and shared my fields with him. He ghosted me. Twice. He is the reason why I asked Maitreya to create that field DM: Heart Center Restoration and I am so grateful because I need it a lot.
*Another soulmate ghosted me. I gave him a chance a year later to get ghosted again. I think at this stage, I was kind of resilient to ghosting, lol. Disappointed but not dying.
*And last but not least, my real Twin Flame came into my life when I was already in pain after losing my dog (the most painful letting go in my intense life). He opened every wound possible, activated me energetically, triggered like nothing in my life before, just to leave for another woman, and eventually went completely silent. See the pattern now?
I had the dark night of the soul one by one. I thought Twin Flame was BS but no one had that huge impact on my soul’s evolution. He showed up exactly when it was time for me to burn my old self into complete ashes. He taught me about healthy boundaries and self-respect that I lacked. He also showed me how a good father should behave. He allowed me to experience what reassurance is. It was short and intense, and we had so many great conversations.
I hate divine timing. He is really a male version of me; very scary and very alluring at the same time 
Can’t blame guys for running away I must give the same vibe
I still believe in love! I know I am going to experience that! I worked on myself and self-love for the whole time. I healed all of those karmic connections. It was hard to clear and heal, to forgive. It was so hard to move on. Since I was little girl I just wanted to get married and have kids, feel safe. And I will have that. I have custom field for over a year now that will bring that person to me. When the time is ready. If I would meet him 4 months ago, we would not work. 2 months ago. Nope. I would sabotage it.
The dark side had tried everything to destroy my heart because my superpower is love. I attempted suicide poisoned from black magic. They failed because my soul was stronger than that.
Also, this is probably my last incarnation, so I had an opportunity to close and heal relationships with those men. I healed 3 ancestral lines (mum, dad, and biological dad). Currently recovering bonds with my family.
I can’t say I went through my lessons with grace and class, no. I cried, I yelled, I made the same mistakes, I repeated patterns, I tried to run away, I tried to avoid, I blamed others, I had a victim mentality, I blocked my third eye, I blocked my heart, I didn’t want to listen to my Higher Self, I even told the Creator to f… off a few times, I didn’t want to surrender.
I had a million of reasons to feel ashamed, now I have a million to be proud of.
I passed those tests and I will complete anything that will come. I had help from my guides (that I offten ignored), from random people sometimes, and I am so lucky to work with Maitreya 
. Her fields and support helped me to complete so many lessons faster, and what is most important is that I rediscovered my true self.
Her cosmetics helped me to heal and feel beautiful again. I was rejected and ghosted so many times that it was a mission itself, trust me. I feel attractive even now when I’m having flu 
!
I have been stubbornly working with energy, pushing myself to the limits and helping people along the way. I serve humanity even if they are stupid and prefer to stay in the Matrix and comfort zone. I love men who broke my heart because my love is unconditional, and I will continue to love.
I am a precious gift to this world. I have always been. It was always there underneath that programming, curses, hexes, traumas. My soul was always beautiful and loving.
To summarize:
Fields working, cosmetics even more, don’t give up! Everything can be turned into your power. Start from loving yourself because me not very smart did it very last but hey now I have a lot of medals to brag about 
), so you can understand the pain you told.
It was somehow liberating to share this. And yes, I call it emotional striptease because it feels like you’re suddenly naked in front of people, exposing your own feelings, mistakes, failures, and successes. Thank you for being part of my journey 