From Loneliness & Isolation to Connection – How Did You Overcome It?

[Maitreya]

Has anyone here struggled with loneliness and difficulty socializing, but eventually managed to overcome it?

What helped you the most? Was it inner work, therapy, spirituality, forcing yourself to go out more, finding the right people, hobbies, relationships, or something else entirely?

I think this is something many people silently struggle with, especially after long periods of isolation or emotional shutdown, so I would really love to hear different experiences and perspectives from people who have gone through it and improved their situation.

[sikras67]

I’d say I was pretty freaking lonely in Covid times.

No friends, no hobbies. Just entertainment.

What I did to get out was to look for anything that can get me started to get back into life.

In that case I was seeing that an old friend of mine kept posting on his Snapchat story, where he showed a boxing gym. One day I just decided to ask him about the place and If I could do a trial training. So I did, and through that I was able to connect to him better, and also to his friends there, which in turn introduced them to me. And so I developed a small new Friend group, after being lonely for a long time.

Sadly I outgrew them after a while, but whatever

[Athanor]

@Maitreya

inner work, therapy, spirituality, forcing yourself to go out more, finding the right people

We are certainly experiencing a crisis of loneliness today, and it’s happening all over the world. I believe that hyper-materialism and a lack of connection with the spiritual world are taking their toll. Even in my country, Mexico, which is known for its sociable people, this issue is already being discussed: young people aren’t learning to socialize because their world has shrunk to a screen. However, I think it’s always important to understand the specific causes for each person; not all isolation has the same root.

In my case, I developed social anxiety around the age of 17 due to a series of incidents in my family life. This social anxiety, combined with low self-esteem, led me to surround myself with unpleasant people and experience many other unpleasant incidents. This generated a negative feedback loop, a downward spiral, the deepest and darkest point occurred while I was studying for a postgraduate degree: I ended up being sexually harassed by my advisor. Despite filing a complaint, I couldn’t finish my postgraduate studies because the institution defended my aggressor. That event marked my life and ended up worsening my social anxiety. Furthermore, during that crisis, two of my best friends turned their backs on me and even told me I deserved what was happening. After those events, I found it hard to trust people, and starting conversations filled me with terror. I shut myself away at home, and my interactions were strictly limited to my immediate family. But one day I realized I didn’t want to live like that for the rest of my life.

The key aspects of my healing were the following:

• First, and what I consider crucial: connecting with my childhood and early teenage self, because my self back then was always very sociable and friendly. Holding on to all those moments from my childhood when terror didn’t exist, eventually convinced me that that version of me still existed somewhere and that it was my real self.
• I had to acknowledge my lack of self-esteem and the consequences of that, like surrounding myself with “friends” who frequently humiliated me and only stayed when they needed something from me but who disappeared when I needed them. In other words, I had to accept my share of responsibility for the unpleasant events I experienced, and, of course, I had to rebuild my self-esteem.
• Practicing forgiveness: forgiving myself and forgiving those who hurt me—this was very difficult. For a while, I was very angry with myself for having allowed the abuse, for not having been able to set boundaries, and, of course, I was also angry with my abusers. During that time, I discovered that, in my case, I could only achieve forgiveness through empathy, that is, understanding the other person’s reasons, their story, the story that led them to commit the aggression, but without justifying their actions.
• Change of focus: I began to see my bad experiences as training for life. Understanding the other person’s reasons for committing one act or another helped me detect patterns and set boundaries where I had previously failed to do so.
• Exposure and Persistence Therapy: After convincing myself that I was actually a sociable person with bad experiences, and that these bad experiences were simply a source of learning, I began exposing myself to social interactions, such as a weekly painting class, greeting a neighbor, asking for the time, and so on. Small acts that I could control, and if they went wrong, I would take note and try again.

My trial by fire occurred when I signed up for a Kung Fu class, and the instructor tried to force a kiss on me and get me into his car. In other words, I was experiencing once again the event that had triggered my social anxiety crisis, and in a way, it was even more terrifying because this time the person in question knew all kinds of martial arts. But this time I had tools; I knew how to set boundaries, I knew how to recognize dangers, and I knew how to protect myself. Despite the unpleasantness of the experience, this new event showed me that I was no longer the same person. Even better, even though it was a dangerous event, I didn’t feel the need to lock myself down or distrust people, because certainly not everyone is like that.

And as a final act of persistence and rebellion against my almost overcome social anxiety, I enrolled in a German class at a language school where the groups are always very crowded, and I met wonderful people. Since then, I have never again felt anxiety in my social interactions.

In short, I healed through inner work, spirituality, and forcing myself to go out more.

Today, I must admit, I don’t lead a very socially active life, but I don’t feel lonely. My mantra is to enjoy the present, to be present, and to give my best as much as possible without transgressing my personal boundaries. I enjoy people when they are in my life, and if they are suddenly no longer there, I don’t feel a void because I know that everything has its time, including relationships. I also don’t feel lonely because I am very aware of the spiritual world that surrounds me. Truly, I believe we must learn that we are never alone and that this spiritual world, even if we cannot see it, is very real. God’s creation is beating around us at every moment. The hierarchies of light offer us the purest love, love we cannot even imagine. We are never alone; there will always be a helping hand from the spiritual world, or here in the material world, we just need to believe it.

[Lone_Wolf]

Has anyone else ever felt this kind of contradiction inside themselves — two needs that seem to completely oppose each other?

On one hand, I suffer from a deep loneliness and lack of connection with anyone. It has lasted for years, and nothing seems to ease it, even slightly.

On the other hand, being around people is so exhausting that after a few hours at work, all I want is to go home. People trigger me so much that after a few hours I do not feel like talking to anyone at all.

So on one side, loneliness is slowly destroying me, and on the other side, it gives me peace.

The only solution that people seem to suggest is becoming more social, spending more time around others, and getting involved in new hobbies. Okay, I’m not dismissing that idea.

My question is: how do you actually do that?

How do you become social and outgoing when, at the same time, you feel resistance toward people, resentment toward them, and a strong reluctance to be around them?

For me, this feels like too big of a contradiction, and I honestly do not understand how to reconcile these two sides of myself.

[Athanor]

Perhaps the ‘Shadow integration’ field could be useful for dealing with that contradiction you feel. What strikes me about your testimony is that you feel resentment towards people. Why? Could it be that you are surrounding yourself with the wrong people? Or have you had bad experiences before? Or maybe there is something you haven’t integrated, and certain people trigger that discomfort in you?

[sikras67]

@Lone_Wolf

Has anyone else ever felt this kind of contradiction inside themselves — two needs that seem to completely oppose each other?

On one hand, I suffer from a deep loneliness and lack of connection with anyone. It has lasted for years, and nothing seems to ease it, even slightly.

On the other hand, being around people is so exhausting that after a few hours at work, all I want is to go home. People trigger me so much that after a few hours I do not feel like talking to anyone at all.

Definitely my case!

I’m tired rn so I’ll cut it short:

I still have this. I can feel a sense of loneliness, even though I’m fine being alone most the time.

That’s a signal for me, to do one social Activity. Could be anything.

And after doing that one social Activity my „Social interaction" Tanks are full.

The loneliness feeling vanishes and I feel fine for almost a whole month.

As for how to do it, it’s hard to give advice. It depends on your character.

I’m someone who can connect with people and who can have fun with them.

But I can’t be shallow. So doing jokes etc. is my way of communicating with people who are lower Vibration, because they wouldn’t handle the higher Vibes.

But when other People are high Vibe, then social connection is so easy and smooth.

I get what you say about People and I feel the same.

Some are just so terrible to be around, that I fully avoid them. But not all of them are this way.

Sometimes it’s also our own Veil blocking us from seeing a Person for who they truly are.

Sometimes People whom I would have not expected to be interested in the things I am, turn out to be interested in them and boom you got yourself a connection.

So the Key is to find some People you share at least some interests with.

Last Friday I went out with my friend, because there was an Event in my city.

My friend doesn’t drink alcohol and also is not braindead​

Most People that night were though haha. I still had a good time, and we even talked with other people randomly and it was very nice.

I even impressed a group of girls with my slick Ninja moves on the street

And now I feel satisfied and at peace with myself.

I’ll probably get the feeling of loneliness in 2-3 weeks again.

I kinda think this is normal. We are Humans, Social Creatures. We need connection…

So if you know that you can be social, then just find a way to have some sort of Activity with lots of People, also a place where girls are at( not necessarily romantic) and you’ll see that you will feel better and recharged instead of drained.

[Lone_Wolf]

@Athanor

Perhaps the ‘Shadow integration’ field could be useful for dealing with that contradiction you feel.

I have this field. Six months ago, I realized I didn’t know what exactly to use, so I get everything I had into Mandala Manager. Initially, I used with Field Optimizer, and then I switched to Divine Source Field Optimization.

@Athanor

Why? Could it be that you are surrounding yourself with the wrong people? Or have you had bad experiences before?

In a short, my entire life I have been surrounded by people who are the opposite of a supportive environment in which you can grow, feel safe, feel loved, seen, and appreciated. Completely the opposite. Hurtful environment that takes away your self-esteem. Even if I could theoretically attract other, better people into my life now, it’s simply very difficult for me to function and act in a completely different way.

You know, you spend your whole life around people, you feel threatened, insecure and you have to constantly monitor how your surroundings are behaving. And honestly, you’re tired of being around anyone. So very tired…

And now

You’ve changed! You can attract new people! They’re waiting for you just around the corner! Get out of the house and go around people! Be social! Oh yes… Do you see this?

I’ve been going to Wing Chun martial arts classes for six months. Twice a week. The people are okay. I can’t say anything negative about them. Honestly. I like them. Despite such a long time, I still feel anxious when I go to classes. It doesn’t go away. When class ends and I really don’t want to sit there and talk anyone, I just go home.

I recently wrote about breaking up with a woman. It’s okay. I can handle literally anything. I was with her for three weeks, and we were even physically close. You could say I have experience, very good experience with women. This is true and I’m happy and grateful for that. So what… - I started Tinder, and honestly, I can’t imagine going on a date, sitting across from a woman, and talking to her. It seems crazy. Why?

I think I’m subconsciously blocking even that possibility, because a week has passed, and Tinder is a waste of time and money. Absolutely nothing is happening. I don’t even have anyone to chat with. Just chat…

And you can even tell me I’m the most handsome man with a heart of gold haha - I don’t feel that worth within myself.

[Lone_Wolf]

I really envy people who sincerely feel and love meeting new people. Being around people is fun for them. For now I don’t see such an opportunity for myself.

[Athanor]

I understand you because at some point I also felt that resentment and fatigue towards others, due to the bad experiences I had accumulated in my life. In my case, learning to forgive and let go was one of the points that allowed me to enjoy my social interactions. I also had to work a lot on my self-esteem, and to be honest it took me years, even making use of the fields. Sometimes one needs to be patient with oneself.

On the other hand, even if you have rationalized all your experiences, the fact that you still feel anxiety could be because your body still does not feel safe. The “(20) Fight or Flight / Energetically Programmed Audio / Maitreya Reiki™ - YouTube” field could help you heal your nervous system, which is probably still in alert mode (you know, to prevent getting hurt again). And maybe you could try with Close the Door of the Past / Maitreya Reiki™ for letting go your bad experiences.

[Athanor]

@Lone_Wolf

And you can even tell me I’m the most handsome man with a heart of gold haha - I don’t feel that worth within myself.

Have you tried this field (20) TOTAL SELF WORTH / Maitreya Reiki™ - YouTube ?

[Bre19]

@sikras67

But I can’t be shallow. So doing jokes etc. is my way of communicating with people who are lower Vibration, because they wouldn’t handle the higher Vibes.

@sikras67

[Lone_Wolf]

@Athanor

Have you tried this field (20) TOTAL SELF WORTH / Maitreya Reiki™ - YouTube ?

I have a mandala. At first I listened to the audio for a while, and then only passive Mandala Manager.

@Athanor

On the other hand, even if you have rationalized all your experiences, the fact that you still feel anxiety could be because your body still does not feel safe. The “(20) Fight or Flight / Energetically Programmed Audio / Maitreya Reiki™ - YouTube” field could help you heal your nervous system, which is probably still in alert mode (you know, to prevent getting hurt again). And maybe you could try with Close the Door of the Past / Maitreya Reiki™ for letting go your bad experiences.

I don’t have these fields, I’ll try them, and I’ll probably buy them. Is my idea a good one? I buy a field, use it for a certain period of time, say two weeks, very often, in a loop, and then leave it passively in Mandala Manager, and Divine Source decides what to use and when.

My body doesn’t feel completely safe, but I’ve made huge progress in that direction. The classes I take are a very close-contact martial art. I remember that at the very beginning it bothered me a lot and for quite a long time I unconsciously tried to distance myself from the partner I was training with. The worst was when I had to train with a woman, because I was very tense and nervous for no apparent reason. But a lot has changed in that regard, and sometimes, when I’m in a good mood, I deliberately choose a woman to train with, and it’s fine.

@Athanor

In my case, learning to forgive and let go was one of the points that allowed me to enjoy my social interactions. I also had to work a lot on my self-esteem, and to be honest it took me years, even making use of the fields. Sometimes one needs to be patient with oneself.

I’ve mostly forgiven everything. From what I understand, I had to experience it to develop certain traits, like respect, kindness, and others. And that’s okay with me, but I just want to close this topic once and for all and forget about it all. I want different experiences in life. I’m not very patient, especially since this topic sometimes drives me crazy because it takes so long.

I don’t know how to work on my self-esteem. This voice in my head is ruining everything. I’d say I’m completely incapable of achieving or pursuing the things I want. The principle is that I want something—for example, a relationship with a woman—and I can only find reasons why I don’t deserve it, why I’m not enough. And I end up with these heavy feelings. I can’t ignore what’s in my head. Especially since I’ve always been guided by what’s in my head, because I believe that’s what helped me survive.

[Athanor]

In my own experience impatience could block results; sometimes the more you want something, the further it moves away from you. Maybe this field (120) The Art of Letting Go - Detachment Field / Energetically Prgrammed Audio / Maitreya Reiki™ - YouTube and this one Living at the End - It’s Already Yours: The Most Powerful Manifestation State | Sound Healing could be helpful for you.

[Wendy]

Very well said and this is the most missing piece of information during the healing process.

[Wendy]

Use subconscious reprogramming to reprogram these negative beliefs.

[Lone_Wolf]

I thought it was important to write about this. I don’t understand what it is. It’s like a tangle of thoughts trying to convince me of worthlessness at all costs. And not only that. I struggle with thoughts of lack of results, lack of progress. Today, I spent over an hour fighting thoughts of giving up because this is something that will never change. These thoughts are like a wave. They’re so overwhelming that I can’t just stop thinking; they trigger such negative states within me. I seriously felt like giving up and not doing anything anymore. I feel like I’ve spent more time in my head than living my life.

Is this just overthinking, or is there something more? Let’s talk about it. Do we have anything for this?

[Athanor]

Well, not all thoughts come from ourselves; sometimes there is some evil interference. But, as it was said in this forum before in many other threads, we are powerful, and we can say “NO” to the interference. If you feel you need it, you could try (153) Destroy Demons Implants & Entities Influence over Your Energy / Maitreya Reiki™ - YouTube

[sikras67]

ADHD or OCD

There is a field for OCD and it’s free. ADHD can be helped with Nervous System Fields.

[Lone_Wolf]

@sikras67

There is a field for OCD and it’s free. ADHD can be helped with Nervous System Fields.

I have these fields.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing something wrong? There must be a reason why this is all going so wrong and hard. My mood doesn’t improve over time. I mean within a few years. I take care of myself… I eat well. I exercise regularly. I haven’t had any addictions for years. I feel bad.

[sikras67]

Welcome to the club

You know I might seem like I’m doing well most of the time but I don’t.

I’m in pain everyday. Not excruciating Pain, but enough that I have to pay attention to it.

Hemmorhoids(somewhat fixed), back Pain, Allergies, Injuries(altough I seem to have fixed this issue!)

But I still keep going, no pain meds etc. I just endure.

I know that not everyone can do it, but I can, so I do it. And I have somewhat accepted that. I’m usually in a good mood or rather a calm mood. I just don’t have the nice feelings anymore.

In the end this Pain and this feeling of just „it sucks" might be a result of me not living how my Soul wants me to live. And thus it’s a lesson that I must learn.

But there are other Factors at play here. I can’t read Energies but I think globally the Energies are going crazy right now.

So you can expect to be more sleepy etc.

Then there is the fact that you are here, and I would guess you are on a path to improve yourself and evolve. So you are breaking out of the fake world.

When I was just living life in Matrix Mode, I wasn’t doing so bad. When I was 22-24, I was doing amazing physically!

Doing all the right stuff, Diet, Sleep, Training, and I had Energy and Joy.

That vanished when I really started the spiritual path. I don’t fully know why.

I still do these things, yet I keep having strong stagnations in Energy

I regained Spirit Energy, but physical Energy is lacking. Not every day, on some I feel so good, especially when using fields before, but it quickly drops again.

So what I found out now is that my Sacral and Solar Plexus Chakras were completely demolished. Not working at all. All my other Chakras were kinda fucked as well.

I had all Religions in my Third Eye Chakra.

I didn’t use many clearing fields, that was stupid​

But I think that this might have played a small role here too haha.

So you should definitely check out the Chakra fields, like the 114 Chakras, but also ones that focus on the 7 Main Chakras.

Another reason could be a Virus, so more on the physical side.

I can only give suggestions, because this is something I haven’t figured out for myself yet, but the Key is to always keep moving Forward.

There are so many influences in modern life.

Don’t dwell on the Past. Look ahead and take back your life. Fight for it.

This Experience will be so valuable to you. Try everything out!

If you are an analytical Person document what you try.

Just don’t quit.

Quitting is for NPC’s and Suckers​