I am creating a list to help get out of rock bottom, continually imposed by abusive individuals. For those who never really had a chance. It is currently in brainstorm mode.
Currently dealing with aftermath of a family who abducted me when I was young, whose intensity led me to be a child with mutism, who later further disrupted family life by making outrageous and made up claims, some probably true, to get back at father figure (leading to abducting), severe neglect for a decade, bullying siblings who are taking after father figure, stalking and other abusers, and the father figure totally removing the mask now that I’m staying with him trying to get on my feet. I don’t like to share information but had a feeling to. This is the, desperate to claw my way out, list.
[had an error with other post and had to delete]
The aim of this list is to:
Gain clarity to undo personality traits developed to keep safe in abusive family structures (traits that allow toxic people to identify you as someone to harm and prevent you from climbing up the ladder at work).
Regain emotional and psychological strength.
Be able to speak up, and ask for help, to stay out of abusive situations in the future— for those of us with selective mutism.
Be able to identify spaces (workplace) that value and respect you and take bullying seriously, limiting continued daily abuse by those in the workplace.
Take these core items and be able to provide self with the basics (food, shelter, transportation) to stay away from abusive individuals whose priority is eroding you so you rely on them.
Ideally this list is free, or close to it, since it’s focused on getting out of rock bottom which includes financially.
Right now the list consists of:
Self-Boundaries DM and field (YouTube/DM)
Parental Love (thanks to Polaris)
Release and Heal Gaslighting
Does anyone have an Maitreya Fields YouTube video that you appreciate in achieving success in these areas?
The Codependency audio will be on the list once achieving financial traction.
I got the notion while listening to Take Back Your Power that I was raised as the mouse in Scar’s den of hyenas (from Lion King). Lots of clarity and insight from these.
Every time it’s time for me to level up in life, something pops up. I’ve said this before. It becomes hard to push it aside as superstition when things like this happen:
I took my certification exam yesterday — while I was taking it I was noting what I would need to keep studying to retake it. I did not expect to pass. I passed. It was a milestone moment. Literally sat in shock that I passed it for an hour, before I headed home on the bus.
THEN… while crossing the street on a protected walk signal, a speeding turning bus almost hit me by a foot. I heard it speeding and saw it coming in the corner of my eye, head on from me. It didn’t slow down. I missed being hit by a foot. I jumped backwards, and that’s why it missed me. Of course that’s when the bus driver stopped. It was so close if I extended my arm I would have touched the bus.
It’s happened throughout my life. Every time I’m doing something that will eventually pull me out of the muck.. college, especially, something rears its hideous head. Had to drop out years back. Or help turns out to be laced with manipulation and toxic behavior. I need this cycle to end.
Thank you. Was this in response to my previous message?
I am curious how the inner child video may affect me… I guess I’ll see. Every inner child healing I’ve done has shown her scared and lost, not knowing what to do. I supposed it was something to accept, or that I hadn’t connected with the missing piece to bring her at peace.
Awesome. I’m gaining more confidence towards my capabilities and to not comply with dysfunction, those are clear distinctions I’ve been able to make so far. I’m still struggling with the resurgence of selective mutism and asking for help in some areas.. The rest is in motion— but the GTFO dm must be working well — and I say this with precaution but trusting in the momentum and that it won’t be jinxed — he hasn’t screamed, yelled, cursed, or passive aggressively and demeaningly texted me over non-issues, or anything he would have already, since adopting the DM.
If I want to use it to protect my food items in the fridge, does it need to be nearby the fridge?
This field works on you not on things. But don’t forget that you have your own powers. You can imagine that you create a shield around your food with the intention. Is horrible that you need to do that, but think this way “I train myself to become stronger” that removes heavines and feeling like a victim. This is life’s boot camp, not pleasant, not nice, but you’re there already, so you can use it as an advantage.
It is horrible… my mind never gets to truly be at rest here, or ever really, surrounded by such people. Always have to try and think ahead. I appreciate that approach… I’ll sit with that today and see what I can come up with.
Polaris, I appreciate your replies and assistance in undoing the tangles in my situation. ..At risk of feeling like I’m asking for a lot, is there a field that addresses the trauma response that leads highly sensitive/energy workers/etc to hand out to others, like free cookies, their own energy, or energy graciously built up in their system? Despite accepting the energy, it’s compulsive and affects the progress of this playlist
Small update on the playlist.. it’s hard to tell what is arising from the playlist vs, fated endings so to speak, but I think I can attribute the easing of some of these processes to the playlist. I’ve had a rough couple of days and today some childhood scenarios that have always been glossed over were plunged from the depths, so much so that I could feel the essence of childhood innocence - internally - for a minute. That’s a beautiful first. I’ll continue with this playlist… grateful for its existence in this tough, challenging world
It was so close if I extended my arm I would have touched the bus.
