Emotional abuse

How do you meditate with a mandala or audio? Could you give me tips for a beginner? I would like to try.

Have you meditated before? If yes, how?
Because meditating with mandalas is no different. You are allow yourself to be present, feel the energy of the field by looking at mandala or listening audio. I always read the description first. Then I set the intention - "Today I work on this aspect/benefit "

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I tried several times. I don’t know if that’s what meditation is, but I just focused on what was happening in my body. I tried to understand what happens in my body when I feel lonely. Unpleasant pressure in the chest, around the heart.

I’m asking because I would like to try meditation with my Custom Mandala for my problems. After 6 months I am still struggling with the results.

Hmm @TruthSetsFree that’s the point, after the waves of emotion, she accepts that she did something hurful and made a mistake. We can talk about these things again without escalation. She’s also in a Investigation state and i believe the next step is working on these topics. Don’t know when, but it will be.

@dodo

Okay, but that can also a form of manipulation, remember these people are masters at that, if she’s a narcissist, they will be what you want them to be in order to keep the hope up. So they would abuse and then when confronted they would say they will work on themselves or whatever so that you stay in the feeling of hope and never ditch them. Because that is a red flag if they abuse you and you tell her it was abusive and then she does it again.

The better test would be is there empathy, if they keep repeating the same “mistake” again where you are left feeling bad because what they have done but they don’t actually change their behavior despite knowing it is destructive to you, that is a major sign they could have NPD. Like if I had a girlfriend and everytime I would whistle it would send her into emotional flashback where her dad whistled when he abused her and she would let me know about this issue, I would make 110% effort to not ever whistle again in her presence. You see? I’m assuming here alot, that she does know that her “waves of emotion” are harmful to you, which I don’t like how that’s phrased “waves of emotion” like there’s no agency on her side and she just gets possessed by emotions and make you feel bad…seems too convenient for her if she’s trying to make it look like she just gets emotional and can’t do anything about it. Again I’m assuming alot.

Pain in the chest can be a sign of a blocked heart centre.

I love this field, and I meditate on it daily. Recently, it has been the best field for me.

Read the description and open the mandala (custom of Heart Centre, you can open both). Say to the field what you want (related to the description). You can say mandala how you want to feel. More active work is to observe your thoughts. When you don’t like what you think at this moment, say to Mandala to clear this up. And again.
To go deeper, you can write down all the blocks that you are aware of, read them during meditation, and allow the field to deal with them. Or you can do the opposite and write down the end goal, reading, feeling, and visualizing it during meditation.

There is no one rule for working with fields. I play with techniques all the time. This works, too.

When there is room for communication, a lot can be solved. What do you know about her childhood? Maybe you’re repeating the roles of your parents and triggering each other.

You are an empath. Because you are sensitive to emotions, you can tune in to “possible pain/feeling”. Most people won’t be able to relate to that unless you serve them the exact same behaviour and explain to them how it hurts.

She might be Dismissive Avoidant. They are often mistaken for Narcists. It is actually very harmful because those people feel emotions and trying to act better but are trapped in their patterns. My ex was diagnosed as a Narcist by his psychotherapist. I was absolutely sure he was back then, too. It was a huge misunderstanding, and after 5 years of learning about behaviours, personalities, patterns, and astrological psychology, I sincerely apologized to him. I not only didn’t understand his love language or how he operates, but I also had so many internal issues that affected my perspective.

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This is simply not true, if you are a normal person you have empathy also. It’s the narcissists and psychopaths who don’t have empathy because they were abused so much in early childhood that empathy didn’t develop, there’s even brain studies indicating aberrated frontal cortex on narcissists.

There is something going on with you that makes you say these things, it’s almost as if you’re trying to cope with something, is it you protecting your relationship with your parents by normalizing lack of empathy? “It’s just normal that people don’t have empathy and abuse others and when informed they just don’t care and continue to abuse.”

It is actually a sign of a narcissist that they only stop if you do back to them what they did to you, because they don’t have empathy to prevent them abusing and they don’t see you as a person, narcissists see others as objects to satisfy their own needs so if they stop abusing you only after you do back to them what they did to you, then they might actually be a narcissist, this is what expert on narcissism and psychopathy Sam Vaknin has said.

I mean, isn’t your psychotherapist the expert here and aren’t they more qualified than you? If a psychotherapist diagnoses him as a narcissist it’s going to be pretty thorough diagnose right? But then again I don’t know enough about this, did he go to therapy by his own choice, no pressuring from you? Narcissists don’t go to therapy because they sincerely think there’s nothing wrong with them, they’d only go to therapy because somebody pressured them and they try to make themselves look good in somebody’s eyes. But the question is about empathy, if your ex for example verbally abused you and you expressed to him it hurts and he still did it anyway, looks like could be actual narcissist.

Empathy isn’t somekind of super power only some possess and if we think that, we might have a distorted view of humanity.

No quality, no virtue is a super power as in they are unattainable but all of them takes sustained practice. Certain people exhibit/ embody some qualities more than others. Some people have empathy more ingrained in them than others and there are types of empathy exhibited.

Not everyone with a degree is an expert. Not every doctor will save your life performing the same operation, and not every mechanic will fix your car.

I’ve known my ex for over 10 years. When we met, he was as lost as me. 10 years later, he’s done a lot of work; he is a completely different person, and as we all sometimes fail at it. He levelled up emotionally, so no, the psychotherapist wasn’t right. Also, I think it’s crucial to mention the fact, that when we were a couple, he showed me love in his own way, but I didn’t understand this.

See, the more I learn, the less I actually care about labels that psychology created. This is a system. Just as medicine is a part of an education system that is ruled by we-know-who. I don’t believe in anything created by governments and regulated by it. Education system is designed to wash your brain and condition you. In every country.
Have you visited old psychiatric hospitals made in the XX century? I’ve been to a few in the UK. People were tortured there only because they were different and rebellious. How many of us would end up there because of who we are? Maybe we did end up in the past live for telling stuff that now you can freely watch on Instagram and YouTube.

How many people end up with a label of ADHD, anxiety, schizophrenia or Narcissistic Disorder and live according to this diagnosis? Some people would use it as an excuse for the rest of their lives. Medications will numb them, control them and also bring a huge, shiny income to elites. Now, there are cases when medication is necessary, and the evolution of psychology is helpful. It’s a double-sided sword. It can help or kill.

I agree with NatiNati that not every person has the same level. Some people have superpowers.

If a person hurts you and despite being made known that what they do hurts you and they do it again anyway, that is a clear sign that person doesn’t have empathy and is a threat to normal or neurotypical people.

You either develop empathy in childhood or you don’t, it’s not that complicated but we might overcomplicate it for personal reasons is all I’m saying.

Not every human is human. Some people are possessed. Some were hurt so badly that they lost a part of themselves. We are living in a world that is not as simple as we would want it to be.
I learned that forgiveness set me free. Moving on spread my wings and allows me to fly. People will hurt you and disappoint you, but also the same people can one day lift you up and help you. You might hurt someone and disappoint their expectations, too. We are humans with all the baggage and all the glory that is often still dormant.
I choose to create a space for people to treat me better without holding onto the past. It’s not easy.
I need to say goodbye to my old dog. I informed my family that I was going to put her to sleep, and my dad lashed out at me, calling me a murderer. It is the hardest decision in my life. I cried the whole day. I can always count on my dad for all sorts of repairs, cars, etc, but I never get emotional support. Never. In moments of crisis, he is explosive. It took him a week to cool off. My mum was ready to set him on fire for his behaviour, but this wouldn’t change anything. I don’t need another family war.
I know he will be there for me immediately when I have a water leak or car breakdown. When I need to cry my eyes out, I will call someone else.

I want to be accepted by my family, friends, and romantic partner as I am. I’m not perfect. I make mistakes. They aren’t perfect, too. So I accept myself first with all the flaws and glory, then I accept them just the way they are.

Sometimes, you won’t get support and love when you want, but random people or friends will fill that role in the future. My vet gave me more emotional support than my dad, but I won’t call my vet to help me with the car :slight_smile:

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Well if you voluntarily want to have an abuser in your life, if it makes you feel good somehow for being tolerant to abusers then I’m happy for you.

But why would you want to be accepted by someone who abuses you? Seems like a somekind of stockholm syndrome.

And the thing is that if you’d ditch your dad, universe would bring about someone else to fix your car or water leak to fill that void, so there’s that.

What is an unconditional love? What happens to you, when you decide to love people and yourself? What feels like, when you are more than psychological terms, patterns and instead of creating conflict, creating love. Love is not an emotion, it’s energy. The Creator loves demons as much as humans. It’s unconditional. Neutral. God loves you; either you are a bad person or gold-hearted. And it’s the hardest type of energy to tap into when you are hurt. Why do dark magicians need to sacrifice to get power from demons? Demons can’t create from nothing. We can, with no limits. Put on me a new syndrome label, and I will respond with love and compassion because this makes me feel free.

Call it as you wish. I chose to love. No, it doesn’t mean I will let people slap my face; I’m not Jesus. If someone attacks me physically, I will defend myself. I don’t need anyone’s sorry, either. I create distance and boundaries, but I respond with love and compassion because this world is so f… up without it. At the end of the day, it is important how I feel doing this, not what other people say I should do. You might feel lighter and better responding differently :slight_smile: I appreciate this discussion and opinions. This subject is heavy and triggering, so we can learn a lot.

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I see unconditional love as what a parent has for their child, no matter what the child may have done, the parent still loves the child(unless the parent is incapable of love).

I think it’s fine to have unconditional love for your pet and child but in adult relationships we can’t really afford for unconditional love in my opinion, love should always be conditional between two adults and one condition for love is that the other person treats you with respect, like I won’t allow you to have my love unless you treat me well. It’s like a trade, I treat you well and expect you to treat me well too because otherwise it ends up just being a self sacrifice situation where other takes and other just gives, if we think we should have unwavering unconditional love no matter how the other person treats us.

I think there’s been lots of brainwashing in terms of unconditional love in that we all should have unconditional love but like with the “just be love and light” brainwashing that was discussed earlier, this “just have unconditional love” brainwashing makes us easy prey for predators as well.

I hear that source has unconditional love for demons etc but I don’t know that because I’m not source. I certainly know I cannot afford to have unconditional love for demons or otherwise they eat me alive, wether it be literal demon or a person who acts like a demon(abuser). I take this very seriously, being in relationsip with abuser will drain your light and it doesn’t matter if it’s a family member. That’s how abusers take parts of your soul, like when your dad basically verbally assaulted you when he called you a murderer, I bet it was bit traumatizing, that’s how we lose parts of our soul to abusers. I used to think abusers abuse only because they feed off of the energy of fear and hate but they actually steal parts of our soul when they abuse us.

I have been fighting with demons for millennia. They are different tactics and methods, weapons, and symbols. When you use unconditional love (which is unlimited so how you can’t afforded) you send them back to the Source. At least this version of them is because demons can exist in multiple worlds, have different shapes and forms. We all come from that place.

Actually, it wasn’t. I felt sad, I cried because I was wondering by myself, if I am not killing her. I wish to wait till she die on her own, but it’s my duty to end her suffering as her guardian. No, he didn’t take any part of my soul. Why? I didn’t hate him, I transformed this into love for me and for him. This makes you invincible. When you tap this power, no demon, no human can destroy you. They can make me sad, disappointed, maybe afraid for a second, but it is my power to change this into unconditional love.

Well, when you love yourself, you have boundaries. I create space between me and people who hurt me, yes. I distance myself, but I don’t feel bad about them. No one was born bad. When you think about someone you project, you add your opinion to their aura. I am trying to project good, because they are drowning in their own shit anyway. Instead of adding more, I add something opposite. And it’s not easy; I am not good at it yet. It takes practice, and people give me a wealth of opportunities, lol.

How can you be easy prey for predators when you are basically invincible and in control of what you feel because you have access to unlimited power directly from the Source? It’s not like you have 1000 units of unconditional love. Use it wisely. No limits, you can even make demons choke on that just for fun.

You are god-like. You just forgot how powerful you are.

But why would you be peoples shit manager? I’m confused because you seem like you sincerely feel like you’re doing the right thing but in previous conversation you expressed disappointment on how your parents don’t change despite all your efforts. So like on the one hand you’re achieving something here and on the other hand you’re just hitting your head on the wall.

Yes, when you love yourself, you don’t have abusers in your life, like your dad who’s been abusing you since you were a child.

But you don’t distance yourself from them, you let them close to you so that they can take any opportunity they can and abuse you to make you feel bad about yourself. Like when your dad called you a murderer it was not only to make you feel upset but then to make you attack yourself for feeling like a bad person, that’s like ultimate sadistic pleasure for abusers is that they attack you and then they get you to attack yourself. No one was born bad but people have the freewill to choose to be bad and you cannot exorcise that freewill choice out of them with unconditional love.

I don’t buy this. We are just humans afterall and we can die for example. It takes humility to admit to this, that we are not the source.

I don’t think we can ever heal properly if we have abusers in our life. I’m saying this to people who might take your comment as like it’s fine to have abusers in our lives. To be free you need to ditch the toxic people out of your life. There’s no other way to be free and it would be kinda grandiose to think you can put your hand into a blender and assume that nothing bad would come out of it. I think you would reach higher vibrations without abusers in your life but that’s just my amateur opinion. That would actually kinda be what the darkside wants, to make spiritual people think that it is a highly spiritual move to be tolerant to abusers, then the abusers get to feed from your light and limit your progress and they don’t ever have to change because you’d always be there for them, keeping the evil alive.