Yesterday, I decided to do something that was impossible for me to even think about.
I am going to give up control of my life for a whole year. Just go with the flow.
So far, I’ve tried to control my reality. I used different forms of manifestation (all fields possible). I’ve started Reality Note at least 5 times. I did at least 30 shifts using Reality Shiter. I played with all the toys. I had many folders without the Optimizer, to keep the mandalas of my choice under my control.
I revoked all contracts and vows I could find and cut the cords. I’ve done an enormous amount of detoxes and clearings. My body must be made of steel so that I was able to function.
I had many conflicts with my Higher Self because I wanted to do things in my own way. I noticed that I have a weird skin allergy on my forearms. It healed when I was shifting to the reality where I am with a man who is my Higher Self’s choice. And I disagreed with this over and over again. I had discovered that I had a soul contract with him. I had revoked this against my Higher Self’s suggestions. I am pretty sure I had used everything possible I could.
Yesterday, I reached the point, where I said to myself that it’s time to learn how to surrender. I’ve never obeyed. I have always been rebellious and proud of this. This nature allowed me to explore and expand until I hit the wall. I’ve spent weeks trying to either climb on it or find a detour. Didn’t work out.
I took my Reality Note, removed all pages and decided to write in Light Language. Not my goals, but what my Higher Self wants. I’ve decided to not make any shifts based on my needs and plans. Not actually make any plans for the whole year. I always had plans and goals, always. I’ve added the Optimizer to every folder.
Giving up control is the hardest thing that I ever did in my life. Since childhood, I have had to control myself, being an example, a role model, a protector, and a go-to person.
Day 1 without plans and pressure, and I slept without nightmares. I had no pleasant dreams for ages. I feel light, fresh and curious. Suddenly, one of my long-term issues with my solicitors is solved and they will finally push my case, which neglected for months.
I don’t feel comfortable at all with this complete surrender to my Higher Self but I’ve promised a year. That is also the reason why I decided to write this here. Because now you all know, and I will feel obligated to keep my word.
I have literally no idea where I’m going.
