1 Year of Surrender

Journal
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Yesterday, I decided to do something that was impossible for me to even think about.

I am going to give up control of my life for a whole year. Just go with the flow.

So far, I’ve tried to control my reality. I used different forms of manifestation (all fields possible). I’ve started Reality Note at least 5 times. I did at least 30 shifts using Reality Shiter. I played with all the toys. I had many folders without the Optimizer, to keep the mandalas of my choice under my control.

I revoked all contracts and vows I could find and cut the cords. I’ve done an enormous amount of detoxes and clearings. My body must be made of steel so that I was able to function.

I had many conflicts with my Higher Self because I wanted to do things in my own way. I noticed that I have a weird skin allergy on my forearms. It healed when I was shifting to the reality where I am with a man who is my Higher Self’s choice. And I disagreed with this over and over again. I had discovered that I had a soul contract with him. I had revoked this against my Higher Self’s suggestions. I am pretty sure I had used everything possible I could.

Yesterday, I reached the point, where I said to myself that it’s time to learn how to surrender. I’ve never obeyed. I have always been rebellious and proud of this. This nature allowed me to explore and expand until I hit the wall. I’ve spent weeks trying to either climb on it or find a detour. Didn’t work out.

I took my Reality Note, removed all pages and decided to write in Light Language. Not my goals, but what my Higher Self wants. I’ve decided to not make any shifts based on my needs and plans. Not actually make any plans for the whole year. I always had plans and goals, always. I’ve added the Optimizer to every folder.

Giving up control is the hardest thing that I ever did in my life. Since childhood, I have had to control myself, being an example, a role model, a protector, and a go-to person.

Day 1 without plans and pressure, and I slept without nightmares. I had no pleasant dreams for ages. I feel light, fresh and curious. Suddenly, one of my long-term issues with my solicitors is solved and they will finally push my case, which neglected for months.
I don’t feel comfortable at all with this complete surrender to my Higher Self but I’ve promised a year. That is also the reason why I decided to write this here. Because now you all know, and I will feel obligated to keep my word.
I have literally no idea where I’m going.

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Congratulations! Super stoked to read of this. May surrender keep taking precedence over everything. All the best. :sparkling_heart:

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The Tao will show us the way :pray:t3::pray:t3:
Wish you all the best :blush:

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this is so powerful. This inspires me as well

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That inspires me to surrender more :grinning:

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Time to have some Faith!

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Yeah, I know. It’s hard when you are an ex-control freak. I would say not faith but trust. If you don’t trust your Higher Self, then you don’t trust yourself.

I added this: DM: Trust Issues Healing

Btw I won £5 :smiley:

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Are you aware of the real reasons why you control everything?

One more thing.
You want to give up control for a whole year, but by doing so, you’ll spend the entire year making sure you don’t control anything.

So, you’ll be controlling to make sure you’re not controlling.

Maybe it’s just worth adding elements of game and energy of playfulness into every area of your life…

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Yes. I’ve never felt safe. My parents are immature till now. I had no childhood. I felt responsible for the adults around me, my younger sister, my friends, boyfriends and everyone who burdened me with their problems.
Plus, I have been tortured by demons since I was born.
So, being in control was me trying to feel safe and not be a burden to anyone. I had issues to ask for help. Huge issues. Even ask the Creator, spiritual guides, and angels.

Good point :smiley: but I’ve changed from “I will do it by myself” to “I will listen to instructions given by my HS”. I went from being the boss to becoming the manager. I allow my soul to direct my consciousness. Not the opposite.

Lol, I added the Playfulness virtue yesterday :smiley: suggested by HS plus a few more. Now, when I add something, it is based on instructions, not my ego or my own plans and strategy.

I am learning to observe and obey. Yesterday, my HS gave me more instructions to use the Reality Shiter. I connect with my HS and then use automatic writing in my soul’s language. Today, during the meditation, I “closed” my past and past lives, accepted as it is and focused on now. Complete reset. Everyone in my life has a blank page. Whatever good or bad happened is no longer valid. We start from 0, and I will respond to their actions based on the present and not what they did in the past, or by feeling obligated.

It feels like I’ve lost most of my baggage and heaviness. I allowed too many people to overuse the connection we’ve made in past lives just for the sake of knowing each other for ages. When I texted my friend, she was absolutely happy to write something new in my life. I guess, this might be the influence of the Divine Union field enhanced by my Higher Self. At the same time, my dad decided to act in a way that pushed me away, and I now want to distance myself as a response to that.

It’s interesting how fast shifting from the old to now, changes everything.

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