Today I remembered a certain Event from my early childhood.
I was 3 years old and in Kindergarden.
I was playing a game with my best buddy in the Kindergarden then. We were playing casually and then I lost.
Oh boy what happened next….
I filled up with unspeakable rage and then punched him straight into his face 3 Times. He lost 2 teeth.
The woman who was our Overseer was shocked of course and she locked me inside a room all by myself.
I sat there and cried and cried.
I mean it was kinda deserved, I knocked his teeth out
Anyways I think this Scene may have become one of my core memories, because I felt so guilty for doing this. I never wanted to hurt anyone, seriously again.
But I think this might have caused some more underlying problems.
How can I work with this Memory? What can I do to find out how this Scene affected my life thus far.
I don’t think there’s anything you need to “heal” in this memory — it was a learning experience. You did something bad — and you simply saw that others were suffering because of poorly expressed aggression, and it made you feel upset and cry. In the brain we have something called mirror neurons — through them we can feel what others feel, understand how our actions affected someone, and this mechanism helps regulate our behavior through emotional responses.
Now you can look at this memory again as an adult man and ask yourself:
Do you still use aggression in your life? Or have you suppressed it completely — for example, to the point where you can’t protect yourself? Reflect on when aggression is useful and appropriate, and when it isn’t, and how you can channel that energy in a healthy way before it “explodes.”
Well, actually yes — this is connected to the fact that you didn’t use a certain inner power in the right way, and this is a big theme, especially in relation to what we discussed in private messages. You need to reconsider whether you suppressed this power or became afraid of it. After that, the task is to start using it for good things. In other words, this comes down to clarifying your own moral and value system.
For example, if you’re out somewhere with friends and someone approaches you to rob you — in that situation, it is appropriate to have aggression so you can defend yourself and beat the person well enough that next time they have anxiety about attacking others.
But if someone simply annoys you with words — then it’s not normal to hit them, and it’s not legal.
So you need to clarify within yourself — in your mind — when aggression is an appropriate, constructive force, and when it becomes destructive.
I was pondering the same one day. I used the close the door of the past field to put these memories away. It was super powerful and I am being my self now.
If you have been carrying these memories for decades, they likely matter and have influenced many things.
Here is what I would do in this situation:
At the very least, I would acknowledge the fact that I acted that way. Yes, back then I had the mind of a child, and I made the only decision I could at the time. I would use the Ho’oponopono technique for this situation (“I’m sorry,” “Please forgive me,” “Thank you,” “I love you”).
Furthermore, there is a rule I learned: “One violation, one punishment.” If you are driving and you break the speed limit, you cannot be fined five times for the same offense. In the same way, there is no point in feeling guilty and regretful about what happened for the rest of your life.
Your consciousness is now developed enough to understand that you made a mistake. (And besides, his teeth were probably just baby teeth anyway).
You could also use a “revision” technique, especially if you keep coming back to these thoughts. Imagine that something else happened. For example, it wasn’t teeth that flew out of his mouth, but candies he was choking on, and the teacher praised you for saving his life. This helps remove the emotional charge from the situation so you don’t return to it anymore. Our subconscious doesn’t care whether a memory is real or not.
P.S. I once uploaded a memory into my mind that never actually happened. For instance, I imagined buying a great private house that I love, with all my friends coming over to congratulate me and throwing a huge party. I imagined it so realistically that now I remember it all the time as if it were real.
No I haven‘t been carrying it.
It‘s just a memory that got into my mind yesterday after having s talk with my colleagues.
Right now I‘m trying to find out what is influencing my behaviour. I will probably try to interpret every Memory I regain
In a lot of Animes, the Protagonist is shown to be talking with old self. And the old self is very hurt and full of hate and negative emotions.
But because the Protagonist has done so much work on himself and stopped his negative thought loops, he is able to speak with the old self that is still in his subconscious.
In that one Anime called Naruto, he then hugs his old self and you can see it‘s eyes turn from red to blue.
After that his full strength unlocked.
That‘s what I will try to do. To find out what my old self still resents or regrets and to tell him that „It‘s okay now, you can rest, I got this!“
You did something bad — and you simply saw that others were suffering because of poorly expressed aggression, and it made you feel upset and cry. In the brain we have something called 
