One week ago on Saturday, I took some time, to fix a Bike, my dad had laying around.
I’ve wanted to start riding a bike again, for so long now, but I never did. I said 1 year ago, that I was gonna get a Bike and start using it.
But I didn’t. Now I know why.
My inner Child did not want this.
My whole Childhood and teenage years I was using a bike to get from A to B. To Explore, to hang out and to experience Life. It sounds pretty common, and it is 
but for a week now I have felt like myself more and more, and the Bike plays a big role in that. This story is about Symbolism and my attempt on interpreting that.
Anyways, I fixed up the Bike and cleaned it a little. It took me quite some time, and the Day passed me by. I was done at around 7:30 in the Evening. The weather was really nice, so I decided, to take it out for a test drive.
At first it seemed well, but sadly it was still not very good
I still used it and started driving. I had no destination in my mind.
Just drove in the city Main street, then downhill from there and looped around and kept going. And then a destination popped into my head. It was a playground I used to always hang out at, when I was a child and young teenager too.
I headed over there and got off my bike. And the the first Thing I saw was a Swing. It was still the same Swing I used to use as a kid.
I went over to the Swing and sat down on it. Just started swining lightly.
I was alone there.
Then, as I took a look at my Bike, a Childhood Memory popped into my mind:
While I was on that Swing, I saw the schools Strong kid and bully, who was about 3 years older than me, and he had his brother with him.
I used to badmouth about his brother and told other kids, that they should stay away from him.
So when he saw me on the swing, he came over immediatley and started threatening me.
I was by myself there, so no one to help me.
He interrogated me, and then wanted his brother to take revenge on me. SO his brother punched me a few times, not so hard, but it was humiliating. I didn’t defend myself, because I was scared of the Big brother.
Then they left.
I went home to my Parents and started telling them about this. While telling I teared up and began to cry.
I can’t fully remember my Parent’s reaction, but I don’t think it was very comforting.
So there I sat, remembering this story and It clicked for me.
I didn’t randomly fix my bike and choose this destination.
My inner Child did this.
Before all this, I worked with Neoshamanica, to talk and heal my inner Child and I also talked to it just like that. I told it that I’m now a full grown and strong man, capable of defending myself and showing my true Power.
So I Guess my Inner Child wanted me to prove that.
I went to that spot, not as a helpless little child, but as a grown man, who wouldn’t have let this happen.
I started talking to my inner child again, and told him that there is nothing to worry about anymore.
Symbolically, I reclaimed the part of my Power, that I left there.
And ever since that Day, my Life has gotten so different, but still familiar again.
I’m really not only existing anymore, but actually living. Doing the Things I enjoy doing.
After that small Swing I drove over to the other Side, to a different and Large Swing.
I swung around on it, and just enjoyed the moment, feeling pure Nostalgia. I felt so good.
In that Moment, I was me and my Inner Child together. We are now One again and he is not hiding anymore, because he feels safe.
On Thursday a friend of mine asked me to go play Table tennis. Also something I used to enjoy as a child. When I was there, I felt like I was living in a different world. It’s like these past 2 years were so empty. Just a Void. And now I’ve made it out.
The Choices I made, just these past 4 months, have changed everything.
Today I went to a cool park in my City, because I wanted to do some parkouring. You don’t know how dangerous it is aa a grown up 
I used to do these Things so easily as a Boy, and literally without Fear.
Me and my inner Child are now in Symbiosis. I am taking care of what he was scared of, and he is showing me, what I’m now afraid of and this is just one example. With all the weight and Muscle I have, It takes a lot of Guts to do these Jumps and that Climbing.
I used to climb on Things without a shroud of Fear in my Bones. I shall reclaim this childlike fearlessness of the World.
This shift is a really big deal for me 
Thank you all for everything! I hope I can inspire some of you, to start healing that Child within, because he/she actually is there, it’s no joke
