If you look back 5 years, you might barely recognize the person you were – or maybe you recognize them, but your inner world feels very different. Spiritual growth often changes how we see ourselves, what we tolerate, and what we value.
I don’t think I am the same person at all. The shift in priorities and thinking exposed everything in my life that needed changing. In many ways I feel so much better but it also exposed all the bad stuff that had been instilled since birth as well as the cycles I need to break.
I would say overall I am way more joyful. I feel and enjoy the higher vibration state. I feel very at peace. The people around me get me, but some relatives and strangers feel uneasy about my newfound calmness.
I am more empathetic and that also leads to pain, but it also makes me appreciate things a lot more.
Now I am actually looking forward to creating a life before signing off and making joy and beauty a daily guide of that life.
I am more resilient, and yet much more softer. I am at peace knowing I am not alone and all/ many of us are contributing towards a more beautiful world. I have moved from a place of naive hopefulness, or rebellious transformer to being more settled in my architecture from where hope and positive actions emerge naturally. I am kinder and more accepting of myself. Mostly, I am not running away from anything but just gleefully prancing towards joy.
All of this is just tied to one thing, being closer to Divine and thus myself.
Old me wants everything and is very scared of being nothing and of unforeseen events, Like very anxious like an abandoned puppy.
Current me just wants to sleep a lot and understands that i can’t force everyone to see things the way i see it and think the way i think.
It’s more important for me to cultivate faith in God and the universe again….And maybe spiritual powers idk for some reason i kind of needed this.
What i would want to tell is…the lotto numbers for tomorrow’s draw lmao
kidding, What I’d tell her is:
*Hey, You’re gay and you can do nothing about it.
Also, Let go and find your center…I know you can’t understand that you actually have a lot of repressed anger and negativity despite letting people off a lot of times but yes you do! You’re not forgiving. You’re just dismissing.
So face your self and say that you are allowed to feel things and you are not a bad person for feeling these things*…
*Then take a step back and breathe deeply…And look at the same stars that made you wonder about the universe when you’re still a child.
Nothing last forever but within this very moment, You have a piece of your own eternity that only belongs to you and no one can take that away from you*….This is your true wealth, to capture these simple moments in time and turn it into gems of memories…Even when you’re just on your own.
Why am i telling you some unpolished poetry? because i know if i try to console you in a more typical way that brain of yours will try to justify or circumvent back to whatever negative shit is living in your head right now.
Chao!