Attachment Styles

[sikras67]

I can see a big reflection of myself here.

I really think, you learned what you had to. You don’t seem oblivious to your own story.

You know exactly what to do and what to change.

I’ll share with you a bit of my life and maybe this will help you.

@Lone_Wolf

A fragment of my story is that I’ve experienced too much hurt, disappointment, and ridicule with people. I’ve never been able to build a meaningful relationship with anyone in my life. Not even with my family, my parents, my siblings. I always felt like I was different from everyone else, like an alien—I was even called that for a while.

My life, especially my relational Life can be summed up in a few words:

Anger, Ridicule, Loneliness, Escapism

Being different in this world is regarded as a terrible attribute. But you can’t deny what is inside. You can mute the Voice for a while, but it can never cease to exist.

I tried to fit in, I really did, but I never could. And the people in my life never paid attention to me. They disrespected me, they bullied me and they treated me like a side Character.

Invisible, unimportant, easily replaceable, not worthy, Entertainment for others.

That’s who I was.

But because no one ever taught me or showed me my own worth, I never recognized it. I became a People Pleaser, without a will of my own. I enjoyed helping others with their projects, with their dreams and their desires, while completely forgetting my own.

Because I had no Value. I didn’t value my Dreams, my desires.

But.

I am and always have been WORTHY.

I just couldn’t see it, now I do.

And it took a long time to see it. In the beginning of my Journey to the top, I still felt inferior.

When Cor*na came around everythign changed.

In one Moment I had 3 friend groups. And in the other moment, they were all gone. Only 1 Friend left. At 21 years old.

No friends, no girlfriend, no real connection to family.

LONELINESS.

That was the toughest time in my life. I fell into a deep despair, gained weight, jerked off a lot and just wasted my time existing. This kept going on for over a year. I wanted to give up many times. Just stopping. Because Life felt hollow. But the Voice inside me that I was suppressing for so long grew stronger. And I started listening to it.

I needed to do something again. Enough was enough. So I joined a boxing Gym. And that turned my life around, because I had found something, to build my Self-Worth back up again. I needed that. No one told me I was worth. I had to find my Value on my own, by my own Power.

Here is a story I shared once, and this changed everything. I recognized my own strength.

My Journey

I will now share a story of mine that I‘m really proud of and I hope it will stir up something inside the readers😄 Back in 2022 I was living a rather sad life. It was still during the Plandemic. Due to my beliefs and Convictions, that didn‘t fit with others, I had lost all of my „Friends“ but one. And the one Friend I had left had a busy time Schedule, so we didn‘t meet too often. So there I was, 22 years old, 1 friend, no girlfriend, with lots of time and nothing worth doing. I would spend …

No matter how terrible I felt, I am so grateful for these times. Because only then could I start to become a man.

Someone to be respected. A Main Character. A Pillar of pure Strength.

What you are seeking is Self Worth. But you can never find it outside. And no one can give it to you. You have to earn it for yourself, because you are your own Judge!

You reflect to others what is inside. And if inside, there is no worth, then outside there won’t be any as well.

And until you can actually live with yourself, you will always feel terrible. If you don’t feel like a man, do something about it.

What is stopping you? What does it even mean to be a Man?

Don’t ignore your feelings, but don’t be controlled by them.

As a Man, your Emotional Backbone has to come from yourself. Never from “Something” or “Someone”.

Only from you.

So whenever “Something Breaks” or “Someone hurts you”, you don’t fall into the abyss, but land on a soft cushion that is called your Wholeness.

I hope I can help you with this, and BTW these are Things I haven’t fully integrated myself. I am still learning and am not where I want to be yet. I stay humble as well as I can, but sometimes it is still good to show confidence and have that Male Ego shine a little bit it is in our nature.

I recommend you get 2 Virtues: Serenity and Hope. You’ll feel super calm.

We are Aliens though don’t forget that we are not from this world, so we will never truly feel at home here, but we can still make this life very beautiful. And we have Maitreya

And one more Thing. The Joy of going through hardship and coming out as a new and better Version of yourself is one of the best feelings ever. This is where you can shine. Others get crushed and give up, while you face the Challenge head on and come out on top.

@Lone_Wolf

That’s why this separation was simply a shock to me. I feel completely alone in this world again. I don’t even have anyone to tell, so I’m just writing this here on the forum.

This Forum is a great Place, and it has had real impact on my life. Positive Impact. It is no weakness to share, but rather strength. Taking off the Mask and showing vulnerability is strong. And if the other Party doesn’t recognize it, they are dumb af and have their own Problems to solve.

@Lone_Wolf

The worst part is that I still don’t know what to change, which direction to take. I don’t feel it.

You have listed 3 Things.

1. Eat healthy and Work out. Go on Semen retention.
2. Fix your Issues, regarding opinions of other People. I recommend the book The Courage to be disliked. I really really recommend this to you! It will Change you.
3. If you can’t change the Job for now, change yourself and make it more managable to be around other People, by raising your own Vibration. You’ll automatically uplift others around you and Life will feel easier.

I don’t want to give you all the answers.

It’s funny to me that I’m giving you this Advice, because I should follow it myself haha. I know what to do, and just have to do it.

@Lone_Wolf

And again, that feeling that you’re just not enough for someone. I’m going crazy.

It’s all about Self worth. And Fields helped me here a lot! Especially Saturn.

Stay strong and always have this one motto in your mind:

“I just keep moving forward”.