Everything we think about ourselves, the world, and people appears in reality. We begin to live and experience what we focus on.
Often people think that it is the other way around, that they first see and then react, but external events are already a reaction to our past vibrations
This is your point of view, which you created yourself, and now you will see confirmation of this point of view everywhere in reality: you will create events, you will invite people into your life who will behave in such a way as to confirm the correctness of your point of view. Event after event, you will make this point of view even stronger, and over time (or maybe already), it will become an element of the supporting structure of your consciousness/subconsciousness, and this will become a kind of distorted filter of your perception.
You made up these stories yourself. You chose to think about it this way at some moment in childhood or in a more distant past. But you can choose to think differently, and then the external reality will also change and will align with your new thoughts and points of view. It is they that create reality.
All traumas a person creates for themselves based on a lack of information.
I will explain with my own example:
My mom forbade me in childhood to eat five packs of ice cream outside in winter, which I wanted to eat. My childâs consciousness did not have enough information about why she did this, and I chose to be offended and think that I was not loved. But was this really a lack of love from my mother, or was it care?
One time my parents forgot to pick me up from kindergarten. Usually, they always arranged it, but one single time in five years something went wrong, and I was at kindergarten with the teacher until late evening. One time. One. I lacked information about what happened at my parentsâ work, but I chose at that moment to feel hurt and think that I was not needed by anyone, that I was abandoned and rejected.
My parents sent me to my grandmother for the holidays. I lacked accurate information about why they did this because my consciousness was not developed, but I chose to think that I was not needed by anyone, I was not loved, I was rejected.
I pooped during my nap in kindergarten, and they made me wash naked in front of the whole group of children, and as it seemed to me, everyone pointed fingers at me and laughed. At that moment, I felt a very deep feeling of shame and defenselessness. At that moment, I chose to be offended at my parents for the fact that no one protected me. And thatâs it. I didnât even tell my parents about this, I just closed myself off. This was my choice.
When I talked about it with my mom, she said that she didnât remember such a situation and asked why I didnât tell her about it. Now, knowing my mom, if I had told her back then, she would have reached the highest level of officials until the teacher was fired to protect me. But I made up my own version.
But was I really unloved and unwanted, defenseless? Of course not. But it was my choice to think that way, to perceive it that way because of a lack of information.
Now consciousness is much bigger than it was before, there is enough information, and you can choose new thoughts, turning your past traumas into strength.
You have the choice to suffer and be a victim or to be the creator of your reality. I already wrote about this on the forumâread it.
The brain will always explain to itself anything in any way.
Here is an example from experience (two different people explained why they became successful):
First person:
âI had a great childhood, amazing parents, they loved me, took care of me, gave me a great education, and thatâs why I became successful.â
Second person:
âI had a difficult childhood, my father beat my mother, didnât spend time with me, then abandoned us, and later died. My mother suffered, ended up in the hospital, then drank for a long time, and then died. I had no other choice but to become successful.â
But people prefer to get stuck in past stories, explaining their choice or lack of choice with facts from the past. Usually, they explain their failures with the past, although the past does not influence anything at all. It is our choice to think that it influences, our choice to consider ourselves victims, to consider ourselves weak, to believe that nothing will work out.
But any person who considers themselves weak has definitely had dozens of situations in life where they were strong. Just remember right now the situations where you showed inner strength. They definitely exist. But people are used to shifting their focus to situations where they were weak, choosing to be weak now, feeling weak. And feeling weak, you start experiencing this in real life.
But you can make another choice, and this new choice will create a new reality.
You did not make a real and conscious choice to change.
âI will try to go to the toilet.â This does not work. To make a choice to go to the toilet, you need to go to the toilet.
Words like âI will try,â âI will attempt,â âI intend toâ are signs of a lack of real desire to change and make new choices.
It is the choice that creates.
Declare:
âSoon this will change, and something different will definitely appear in my life!â
Declare:
âNo matter what it takes, no matter what life brings, no matter what emotions I go through, and what it will look like, I will get it.â
The question is: What do I need to do to get this?
We open doors with questions:
What is needed for this (your request) to appear?
What else is possible? How can this be even better?
Energy will start appearing for realizing the choice, and it is important to follow this energyâmeaning, to make new choices.
New actions = choice. And it is these actions that will create something new in life.
Again, you create this point of view for yourself, making it your belief through which you will see reality. And life will confirm to you that you are right.
First of all, you need to stop thinking of yourself as wrong, as ânot like others.â Realize that your past choices brought you to the reality you have now.
Then, realize that all your opinions, judgments, points of view, projections, and expectations materialize in the outside world.
Realize that your choice to think, act, do or not do has led to what exists now.
Then realize that you are an amazingly powerful creator of your life since you managed to create such difficulties for yourself. That means you really know how to create. You just did it unconsciously. But what if now you add some awareness to your choices?
Also, realize that the past does not influence you. Choice influences you.
If the past triggers you, go into it, live through the feelings (if they have not been lived through), and create a new realization for yourself.
And most importantly: realize that you are the real creator of your life and make choices based on this knowledge, not from the state of a victim.
Personally, I see that you are not alone, you are needed in this world, you are important for this world, the world is better with you than without you. You just need to find what value you can give to this world and do it. But the state from which you will do it is important.
What you think about yourself and what you do depends only on you and your choices.
Now, regarding your question.
People usually need solitude to understand new meanings, ideas, clarify past situations, perhaps help themselves in the way they choose, or allow others to help them. So that this leads to an expansion of consciousness, and from this new awareness, go into society and make new choices in practice. This may take from one hour to several lifetimes.
You can read two dozen books about how to run a marathon, but only by running a marathon and experiencing the whole process you can feel and understand what it is like to run a marathon.
Good luck!