Angry with God

Okay so… I’ve been using some God related mandalas, especially the one Mai recently uploaded with reconnecting with God.

I write here in the hope that someone will shed some light on me. I am frustrated, angry, and resentful towards God, I feel that I am abandoned, as is my Higher Self, that I no longer have a guide, no purpose, and all this is 4 years old, since 2020, pandemic, meeting a certain author of fields, and becoming obsessed with changing with them, my life went into decline, and I feel like I’m in a timeline I shouldn’t be in, that this is not my destiny, that I don’t belong here. What should I do, I no longer feel that anything helps, the only thing I want is to recover my previous life, health, harmony and well-being. Before God stopped supporting me. :pensive:

@Maitreya @Polaris


I’m sorry for you! But I’m also sure you will fix it soon!

How did you recognized god(his support)?



Could you provide more information on what specifically bothers you and what the issue is so that we can give you more accurate guidance that can actually help you?

What I sense is that you’ve stopped acting for some time and the energy has become blocked, which has affected you mentally.

There are also many foreign energies around you, and some have embedded themselves in your subconscious. You can use field + meditation to cleanse yourself daily. It might be a good idea to increase the fire within you, which I see as a dominant element, but at the moment, many things have been thrown onto it, and it has dimmed a bit. It will ignite once you start clearing the foreign energies, and you can also do a “fire meditation” - imagine a white, yellow, golden, purple flame passing through your entire body and burning away everything that is not yours.

P.S. Entities can create ideas that God has abandoned you. Knowing the laws of the Universe, this is not possible. God loves everyone equally, even those whom we define as being on the dark side and who may cause mischief and havoc here and there. There are no chosen ones by God; everyone is equally loved.


Is it possible that these feelings you have about God actually come from your use of fields? That author of fields you referred to may not be acting ethically.
As Jesus put it: “You will know them by their fruits. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit”.
If using those fields triggered a downward spiral, it makes me think that there is smoke and therefore fire. Maybe it’s time to check yourself for entities.


I also thought about this. I don’t know who it is referring to, and I don’t want to know, but with the clients I work with, I’ve found quite a few “interesting” channels through which the world can spin you around.


Hello, thanks for answering, you just “feel” it, it’s like something is blocking the connection, like you see blurry, it’s hard to explain, and when you feel full and connected, you feel that you are guided to your true path, bad things do not happen to you, you do not have bad thoughts all the time.

Hello, thank you for answering Mai, there are days when for no reason at all, they suddenly appear out of nowhere, I start to feel these feelings, suicide, resentment towards God, annoyance, feeling of abandonment, not feeling like I belong in the world, crooked path, etc.

It’s a really strange feeling, as if it’s not really me where all this is coming from, I still think I have enough awareness to know that all this is not coming from me, all this started 4 years ago at the beginning of the pandemic and it really affected all areas of my life, which is why I feel that I did not fulfill my full potential as a human being at the age I am now, as you say, I did not act for a while, and I started to have symptoms such as being angry with everyone all the time , feeling tired, attacked in dreams (just last night an entity harassed me in my dreams), external suicidal thoughts, thoughts of murdering people who have not attacked or harmed me in any way, really disturbing, because I know it’s not me… I really want to get clean like before, I don’t know what happened, I attributed all this to using fields since I started doing it in those times where everything went wrong, and I had actually listened to subliminals before and had not experienced anything like that, for now I stopped the use of everything. I find it interesting, what kind of “strange” energies are around me, in me? or around me? How could I get rid of that and the subconscious programming that was embedded? At this point I have nothing to lose and I would do anything to be “normal” again. What fields and meditations do you recommend? They were probably entities like you say, it’s weird, I use Genius affirmations and yet I continue to experience things like that.

It’s actually curious that you say this, because I mainly attributed the damage to it, I started using Sapien Medicine, their other channels, Quadible Integrity, Spirituality Zone and maybe after 2/3 years a Max video of Mef, morphic doct, xenoverse, sigh , and I think that already… but the sensation is not recent, it started with the use, 4 years ago… look, I know that there are people who idolize these channels, and yes, call me ignorant because I myself do not know the cause of my problems, I’m just here asking for help, (in case any fan reads this) I didn’t come to discuss whether something is good or not, I just want this bad situation in my life, bad streaks, attacks in dreams, to end.


I’m sorry if this breaks the rules in any way or if you didn’t want to know, let me know if I should delete my comment with the channel names, but yes, someone or something did something bad to me, but I want to get away from all that, go back to be clean and calm and be able to move on with my life, hell, I’m not even asking for ways to return this damage, I just want to finish this matter, I don’t even know why this happened to me, just to me…

Here is my two cents of advice. I feel like responding to you not because of what I know (i really don’t know much), but because I lived through something similar.
Through a similar path I became stuck. I had an evil entity attached to me because of audios I had used. I learned that not all creators are good. Matter of fact, some claim to be good and are quite evil. Subliminals and fields can be used to do great good but also great harm. Not to mention they can get evil entities attached to you (all they need is permission).
Maitreya has earned my trust. So I only use her fields. I am sure there are other creators that are amazing, but I know that if I stick with her, I don’t have to worry about any of the above. I felt horrible, and no field is worth that risk.
If I were in your shoes, I would order a scan. That way she will know exactly what is wrong with you and you will get better right away.
I hope it’s ok for me to pitch in. I feel a great deal of empathy for what you are going through and if that is ok with you, I will send prayers your way.
I know in my heart that you have it in you to overcome this. Believe in yourself. God loves you. I know that for a fact.
If it is an entity, it will make you think thoughts that are not yours to make you feel powerless. Stay strong. You will get through this.


I have been through phases where I have felt deeply abandoned by the Divine, sad, lost, stuck, pulled apart in different directions, completely deserted and burnt down like there was nothing and no one around, completely empty.
From there to feeling supported, guided, loved has been a journey. In the meanwhile amongst other things, I took readings and consulted black magicians as well. I got to know of a very ancient powerful entity attachment to me that was draining me and it took me a while to get rid of it. I belive that I had traversed the path of black magic and there were traces in my ancestral line as well which I now had to remove. I was not in a position to comprehend then, but I see now that my hand was being held and I was being guided back home otherwise I would not have found Maitreya, SZ and many many others who have helped me along the way. Please take the presence of MF and the forum as a sign that the Creator has not abandoned you. You are loved, guided and protected and you will feel it again. As @SpiritualSeeker suggested, a scan would probably be helpful for you. I wish you strength and faith my friend. You will come through.


@LightOfBrahma I’ve been there. Apart from energetic solutions, I suggest you see your doctor, too. Please.

I want you all to be seriously aware that when you have potential, or you are trying to set yourself free, entities that own you or your whole family will do everything to stop you, including pushing you to the edge.

It happened to me, too. I overdosed on medications that would kill two people. I just had enough of fighting; I felt tired, and I didn’t care. I literally wanted to reset everything. No matter how many pills I had, I just couldn’t kill myself. From being numb, I got extremely angry at my soul that is not allowing me to die, at my tree that pumps energy into my body, at every being that was trying to keep me alive. I was angry at God, too. I didn’t want to be here anymore, and they forced me to stay. It felt like a violation of my free will.

I went to the hospital. It was a miracle that I had no damages, nothing. For weeks, I felt forced to stay on the Earth. It felt like a prison.
Because I didn’t care about life, I started to clear and fight with demons recklessly, like what they can actually do to me that I already haven’t been through yet. Well, I was wrong. They had a lot in the store.

I had therapy. I had an absolutely amazing therapist. Of course, I couldn’t tell her that I can see demons, etc, but I would recommend therapy to everyone. Talking about emotions can do wonders.

I know that we look at things from the spiritual perspective, but when you are suicidal, let doctors deal with your body, therapists with emotions and fields with connection to the Divine. 3 different angles and perspectives. Yes, fields can help you physically and emotionally yes 100%, but it might take time. Act simultaneously on every layer.

Restore the Source Connection and Divine Invocation with the intention of reconnecting with God, might help. Meditate and find your inner light. Don’t fight with demons; there will come more and more and more. Fight for yourself. Ask the Creator to step in. Centre yourself. Find a tree and ask for healing. You would be surprised how powerful trees can be. And you have us, with similar experiences, who went through this storm.
Please use any help that is available.


For your case, it seems like a homeopathic remedy might be suitable for your condition, but unfortunately, I cannot diagnose it due to lacking the necessary education and qualifications. I recommend seeking out a good homeopath.

From my perspective, here’s what I can suggest to you:

  1. You can take a look at the mandala I shared a few minutes ago and see if it resonates with you.
  2. Meditate with the mandala for entity removal and listen to “Restore Source Connection,” “Chakra Clearing,” and “Etheric Body Restoration” daily.
  3. If you have a dream protection mandala, it will also serve its purpose, as that’s when most attempts are made to affect you.

Make sure to use the YouTube field that nullifies any effects from various YouTube videos, external energies, beliefs, etc., for at least 1 month. You can meditate with it to enhance the speed of the effects.

With everything we’ve discussed so far, I have a sense of foreign energies that are creating unwanted internal changes for you. Work on clearing them out.

Oh, one more thing - Use cord cutting, to remove all energetic cords with Youtube creators and their “helpers” from all dimensions that are not coming from The real Source.


I feel some similarity with the creator of the thread, I started listening fields also four years ago.
That year 2020 is very important, also the pandemic is not a coincidence too, something going on there.
not exactly the same but some similarities, I have also done some stuff of lightworking with some apps.
Now as soon as I let my guard off a a little I have entities entering and I can’t be praying all time, I guess I need to stabilish my connection in God 100% and let it be automatic and in the flow.
So far I will start taking antidepressives to keep me stabilished in my mood and thoughts.


I started with fields in 2020 as well but my chaos started earlier :exploding_head:


I had problems earlier too.


I appreciate everyone’s responses, with all my heart.

Update: I have scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist (in case my problem is something else) but it will take a while, I had stopped using fields, but I only returned to some of maitreya and nothing more, it seems that there have not been many changes, I’m starting to lose hope, because I really want to change, but I don’t really know what to do, or what the root cause is.

I can’t buy a scan, I don’t have the resources for it, so it’s a shame, I also lost all my downloaded fields and my mandalas.
I also wonder lately why this happened to me, did my soul want to learn something? Anyway, I no longer feel hope that anything will change, I’m afraid that if I continue like this this will be my last message, I still thank everyone and Everyone who accompanied me on my path deserves the best.


Thank you for keeping us in the loop. I very much hope you feel better soon.

I know exactly how you feel. I went through this a year ago.
If you don’t feel hope, why not start to fight with the darkness? Why not give yourself a purpose to set yourself free?
When there is no fear of death, then you have nothing to lose. Don’t crawl on your knees. Raise up. Looks straight into the darkness and challenges those beings that surround you. Again, there is nothing to lose, and you can wake up your fire. Burn, explode and don’t let anything or anyone stay in your way. No hope means you can do anything you want.
I always said that I rather die standing on my feet than live on my knees.

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