This takes courage & competence – leaving parents.. Last time i tried, i found myself unable to manage everything on my own!
May i also get the strength like you to find better Nest 
No congratulations for now haha, it must be done first 
And yes I left that part out 
Ok I really need Advice now.
I tried asking my higher Self with the Body response but I‘m not really sure I felt it right.
I will tell you a little background Story and how I came to the decision.
So I have been having trouble with my mother for over 3 months now.
She divorced my dad and they have a house together.
The House has several Apartments that are divided.
My mother moved out, because my father refused to.
I also stayed and have an apartment for myself.
When she moved out she started asking for rent from me and my dad.
Last month I decided I will only pay her half, idk why I decided that but it felt right.
She got mad about it of course and has demanded full payment, or she will go to her Lawyer and start sending me letters and we would end up in court.
I know the reasoning behind all this, because she is very very mad and hateful towards my father, because he stayed in the apartment, that she payed a lot of money for, while she moved out.
She started the Divorce out of stupid reasoning, calling up things that happened 25 years ago etc.
I know that I was also very hateful towards him, but it was more like a veil that didn‘t let me see him as a person and my dad, this has changed now.
She can decide freely, everyone has free will. But through her choice the following happened.
No one was paying anything for living, other than my dad for gas and electric bills etc.
The House was paying for itself.
Now that she left, my dad has to pay her, she has to pay rent, and I have to pay rent to her.
So from paying almost nothing, we all now have to pay a lot of money.
Anyways, I started paying half and now she demands I pay full or she will kick me out.
2 days ago the door bell rang, and holy moly I just knew it was her. I was kind of amazed by myself here, because I picked up on her being here, so my spiritual abilities have improved 
I went downstairs to talk to her, and she asked why I didn‘t pay full and I just said it is too much, I don‘t want to pay more.
You can call me a bad child now, from todays Society view haha
And she said that she will give me 2 warnings with Lawyer and if I don‘t pay or leave, we will end up in court.
And we also talked a bit about why she isn‘t talking to me, and I have not seen any sign of her admitting that she is doing the wrong thing here.
Then when she touched my arm during conversation, I didn‘t let her, idk why, it happened intuitively. That must have hurt her a lot and I have been thinking a lot about this 
Then I said that I won‘t leave and that we will meet in court and left.
I started thinking after that, about why this is happening and if I am in the wrong here or not.
I mean she owns half the house and from her viewpoint what she is doing is right and necessary, because she needs the Money and if I do not provide it, someone else who moves to the apartment can.
So something inside me told me that it is time to leave. And I started looking for apartments.
The thing is, in the end I will be paying more and it will be to strangers.
What I‘m paying now at least stays in the family.
The Place I have now has a lot of space and I also bought a lot of furniture. A Fridge, a couch, and a whole kitchen.
Kitchen alone was 1800€.
When I move I will not be able to take my things, because most places already have furniture inside.
So my decision includes a whole lot of unncessary stress. I felt intuitively that I needed to move out, to find my way.
But when I use only logical thinking and reasoning, without spirituality, then this decision is the most stupid thing I could ever make.
I would be moving out, to a smaller apartment, pay more money and maybe have to deal with stupid neighbors.
My life would be more stressful and I could actually not create my own life how I want it, because I‘d be too busy paying bills.
Circumstances have changed a lot. Houses are insanely expensive and rent prices are very high aswell.
I am in a Position of part freedom right now. I am not very stressed with bills etc. I just can‘t build wealth, but will get to that
Now after all that rambling, I need some grown up experienced Advice
Was my decision completely stupid? Did I decode that message wrong? Can I still find my way and still live at my parent‘s house until I actually have a financial breakthrough.
Because I am actively working on that.
This house gives me many opportunties. And my dad is even willing to help me start something of my own with some money.
Did the threatening from my mother cause this decision?
Or am I just trying to cope right now and my subconscious is scared of change.
So much for that
And btw I used the Reality Shifter this morning and said:
Bring me to a timeline, where I find the most perfect and suitable place to live, while keeping my current job and where I get on good terms with my mother again. All for my highest good.
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When I was 18, my mother told me: if you go to study, I’ll pay your bills during that time, but if you don’t, you start working and you’ll pay your own expenses. I enrolled in university because I wanted to study a specific major. I finished the first year and earned a scholarship that was enough to cover my tuition and rent. But my expectations didn’t match the reality of what I was actually learning there. I decided to drop out and start working.
It took me 5–6 months to find a job. During that time, my mother was very stressed and kept telling me she would stop giving me money—and she really did cut about 80% of my financial support. For a while, I was eating very little—some vegetables and instant noodles. I eventually found a job at a company that she knew had very bad conditions, where many people quit because it was extremely difficult and poorly paid. At that point, she told me: “I’ll support you a bit longer until you find a job—don’t start there.” But I was tired of the comments and being made to feel like a parasite, so I decided to start anyway.
It was very hard. During the first month, I would come home crying because my whole body hurt, I was under huge stress, and I constantly had to do things that were difficult for me. That first month, they cheated me on my salary and gave me only one-third of what we had agreed on, saying I was new and not performing well yet. Still, I happily gave 80% of that salary to my mother. After that, I spent another month mostly eating spaghetti, and in the last week I even walked 7–8 km to work because I had no money left for transport—but I didn’t want to ask her for anything, just so I wouldn’t give her that satisfaction.
In the end, that job turned out to be very valuable for me—not only professionally, but also spiritually. I met very interesting people there who had a big impact on my life. (It was a bonus that with the knowledge I gained there, around the third year, I built a jewelry business that was bringing me $20,000 per month, and I was very happy about it.)
Everyone will probably give you a different perspective based on their own experience. Personally, I think it’s normal for parents to want their child to start contributing financially or paying for rent. Some parents may choose not to do that, but in her case, she needs that money and is asking for it from you not as her child, but as an adult. As you said, if you weren’t there, she would be getting that money from someone else. It’s unpleasant and uncomfortable, especially if you’ve lived there for free until now. But at the same time, in the last 4–5 years, property prices and rents have increased a lot, and it’s hard for someone to move out and live alone—you usually need a partner or a roommate to split costs.
The main issue, in my opinion, is whether this will create problems in the future—whether she might use this to manipulate you, or whether it will simply be a straightforward rent arrangement. If it’s just about paying rent, and this is the cheaper option, and you have your own space there—why not stay in the place where you grew up? It’s your territory, and moving is always a big stress for a person.
It’s also important to maintain good relationships with our parents when that’s possible. In cases of divorced parents, it’s important to be careful that the mother doesn’t place her child in the role of a partner (energetically). Many women do this, and later those young men struggle—they can’t fully move forward in life, have difficulties forming relationships, lack energy and motivation, and struggle with career development.
So, for me, the key question is: will you be able to remain free of her life and expectations if you stay in that environment? If the answer is yes, then I think you can easily come to an agreement about the financial side.
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First of all, thank you for sharing your story aswell 
You have experienced your share of life for sure
I know that when I get to good terms with her again, I will have to fully set my boundaries, so she doesn‘t mistake me for her masculine presence in her life.
Right now all this conflict, is because she is lying to herself at a high level and doesn‘t want to face the truth.
The rent is pretty straightforward actually. I don‘t think that this would cause any issues.
I think the Main reason I did this is because I wanted her to see that I don‘t follow every single demand she has.
For me this gesture of denying payment is a form of saying that she doesn‘t own me and that I have the Courage to stand my ground.
This alone is a huge win for my own life and how I will be interacting with People. Feels like a lesson I had to learn.
From a normal view it doesn‘t make any sense I agree.
I think sometimes I try to interpret too many things and end up making poor decisions, thinking that the universe wants me to do this
Maybe the Reality Shifter actually shifted me already, and where I am rn is where I should be, so my doubts began.
Anyways, thank you so much for your advice
And to anyone reading through this, you can see how valuable this forum is.
This is a huge life decision, and by acting too hastily I could be causing myself some really unnecessary trouble.
What felt right at first, started feeling wrong, but to have the ability to truly discern, is something I am still lacking.
So thank you so much
I love this Forum and the People in it
I wouldn‘t be the same without it
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This is what everything comes down to—whether you’ll have freedom there or not. You need to build strong, solid boundaries—maybe that’s what you need.
I often like to say that our parents are more like coaches than parents, in the way we usually see them from a human perspective. They bring out all our weaknesses and challenge us in ways no one else can. That will be valuable for you.
It will be interesting to work through this and to hear soon how you’re handling the situation. It’s really great to follow people’s stories in the forum.
Maybe @Hero and other men, can also give you their perspective, because you’re going through one of the most difficult periods of growing up.
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@sikras67
Well, here I clearly see an ongoing process of separation. You want to get out from under your mom’s influence, and your mom is afraid of losing control and keeps manipulating you through obligation, guilt, and expectations.
You’re falling for it and still believe that you depend on your parents’ approval and criticism.
Plus, this is what I went through: my mom judged my dad. I started working deeply on my relationship with my father and changed how I saw him and my perspectives, because they were actually my mom’s perspectives. And then I became close with my dad.
My mom felt that. She kept criticizing my dad, and she didn’t like that my point of view was different. I told her I see it differently, and that it hurts me because when you criticize him, you’re criticizing me. I’m 50% you and 50% him, so in a way, you’re criticizing me and telling me how bad I am. Then I said: your relationship is your relationship, and my relationship with you and with dad is my relationship. I will love both you, mom, and my dad, no matter what you think about him and no matter what you think about me.
So I actually have a new field idea related to separation. I had this idea a long time ago when I was going through this process myself, but apparently it’s relevant for someone else right now.
Moving on.
I also see that your decision to move out isn’t stupid, but it’s premature, and it’s most likely coming not from your higher self but from your inner child who wants to avoid pain rather than resolve the situation.
In the ancestral system and in systemic constellations, there are three main laws:
Belonging (everyone has a place in the system).
Hierarchy (those who came first - parents come before children).
Balance of giving and taking (especially important in parent-child relationships).
Your mom is breaking the law of belonging: she’s kicking you out of a house that is rightfully the family nest. In constellations, this is considered a serious violation - a mother does not have the right to exclude a child, even an adult one, from the family system.
Demanding rent from a son who has lived in this house his whole life without paying isn’t about money - it’s about taking revenge on your father through you.
It’s also likely that you’ve become a substitute for your father. Your mom is angry at your dad but can’t punish him, so unconsciously she’s making you responsible for his debts.
In this specific situation, moving out is an illusion of freedom. That’s just how I see it. You say you intuitively felt you needed to move out to find your path, but actually your inner child is saying: if I leave, the conflict will end. But it won’t end - it will just move somewhere else.
If you move out, your mom gets what she wants (you would be giving in to her pressure). She gets proof that you’re just like your father and that you abandoned her. Your relationship will fall apart, you’ll live in worse conditions, you’ll be angry at yourself and at her, and you’ll drain your energy there.
If you stay with an internally solid position on all of this, you break her scenario.
Don’t pay her rent - because you’re not a tenant, you’re her son. You can help her financially as a son, voluntarily. But not as a tenant under a contract. That’s a fundamental difference.
You’re asking: can I stay and find my path? I think yes, you can. That would be the strongest decision.
The first thing I would do is stop paying your mom altogether. And I would say: Mom, I’m your son, not a tenant. I’m ready to help you with money as a son, but only when you stop threatening me. As long as there are threats - I’m not giving you a single cent.
Next, separate the house from your mom in your mind. The house is not your mother. The house is where your family lives. Your mom legally owns half of it, but systemically she has no right to kick you out. If she takes you to court, the court will formally side with her, but you can tell the judge: I am her son, I’m willing to pay for utilities, but not rent to my own mother.
I think your financial breakthrough will only happen when you stop reacting to your mom’s provocations. Every time she starts blackmailing you with a lawyer, answer her: do what you have to do, I’m still staying in the house where I grew up.
Plus, you have a really good chance to start your own business with your dad’s help right now, without moving out, and get the support from him that he’s ready to give.
You could tell your mom: Mom, I love you, but I won’t pay you because you’re angry at Dad. That’s between you and him. I’m your son and I won’t get dragged into your war. Your business is your business, your problems are your problems. I will love both of you no matter what kind of relationship you have with each other and no matter how you feel about me.
I don’t think you’re afraid of change. I think you’re still afraid of conflict with your mother. Subconsciously you’ve decided: I’d rather move into a worse apartment and suffer physically than feel my mother’s hatred every minute. That’s a little boy’s survival strategy.
But you’re not little anymore. You can handle her anger. I think staying in the house and not paying her rent is the most mature thing you can do. This isn’t greed - it’s separation. And when you separate not physically but psychologically, opportunities will appear.
In short, moving out right now looks like surrender: you lose money, connection with your father, business support, and self-respect.
Staying but paying rent means staying in the victim position. You’d be confirming that she’s right.
Staying and not paying rent, but helping as a son - with groceries, repairs, money for her needs, but not for living there - I think that’s the right decision.
If you take this step, if you withstand her rage, she will realize something, and a lot will change in your relationship when she understands that you’re not giving in. Then maybe for the first time you’ll talk like adults.
Again, this is just my perspective, not a guide to action. It’s another point of view on this situation. You decide what to choose, because absolutely everything is your choice. And all the responsibility for that choice is yours.
Also, at the same time, I would recommend working with your ancestral system. If you don’t have the Ancestral Transmission, I recommend getting it and sending the fields related to healing the ancestral system - Receiving the Mother, Receiving the Father, Painful Loyalty, and others that resonate with you. Problems in parent relationships are really just unresolved problems with their own parents - rejection, non-acceptance - and it all gets passed down and down and down. So that needs healing.
On top of that, a course on working with your lineage would be very helpful, because I think you need to go deeper into the family system - working with aggression, violence between men and women, and maybe with tangled roles where women take control and dominate.
Also, I would work on changing your identity in the context of your relationship with your parents.
I would write down all the beliefs, all the statements you have about your mom - all the negative ones. Find a way to remove that subconscious test and load in new affirmations, and keep saying them out loud. For example: Mom loves me, Mom respects me as an adult man, Mom is incredibly happy that I look like my father, Mom loves and respects my father. You’ll start to see how this changes her relationship with your father and with you, and very soon you’ll notice the energy shift between you. All of this will start to balance out and lead to some new positive changes.
And in the meantime - here’s the link to the separation field idea.
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Wow amazing!
The Part about the subconscious surrender never even struck me. It makes so much sense.
I have stood before her and also did something big she absolutely warned me and my brother about doing in December last year.
That‘s where our conflict started. I fought with myself before but felt that it was the right decision, to show her that I‘m not like my dad and she can‘t have her way with me. She has become so spoiled over the years it‘s crazy.
And she herself has undergone changes after Divorce, and has gone kind of crazy herself. Making up scenarios in her head, about others who plan things, to hurt her and betray her etc.
Even about friends who help her a lot, she thinks they just want to take advantage of her.
I have always noticed how deeply hurt she is, and how many unresolved topics she has in her life. And they most likely stem from family issues of her own.
My mother‘s side of the Family, feels kind of cursed. All her siblings are doing bad in Life.
I will follow your advice on using the fields and the Ancestral Transmission.
I have the Course as well
The problem was that all the Time I was trying to help her and fix her and stay by her side, but I kept noticing that whenever I would behave just the slightest bit like my dad, she got triggered.
She didn‘t show but I felt it strongly. So there you are right aswell. I have become a substitute.
I will take all of your and Maitreya’s advice to heart and make a decision.
Right now I‘m giving half the rent to my dad, and he gives it to my mother.
If I didn‘t he would have to pay her all of it. This is a decision I made on my own and he did not force me to do it.
He has been paying my Electric and Gas Bill without complaining once. And all the years that went by I never appreciated him once, because the Veil was so strong. My mother‘s emotions were too powerful.
I just stopped paying the other half and kept it for myself.
I gotta be honest. Never in my wildest dreams did I think, that I could patch things up with him. Look at the posts I made here just half a year ago. They were full of hatred. I‘m really amazed.
That‘s the Power of Maitreya Fields 
I thank you sincerely. You have shown me that I was trying to run away instead of keeping to face the Storm. And I have to face it, there is no other way.
This conflict will be resolved only when I speak to her and tell her about what she has been doing all this time and when she stops trying to guilt trip me.
What she has done with my psyche during the Divorce and how she didn‘t care one single bit about me, even though I told her about my concerns.
Just kept manipulating me, so I would stand with her against my dad. And she is still trying to manipulate me.
I knew that also for this recent attempt. It was pure manipulation.
What you gave me as advice, is what I told her. I told her she can send me what she wants and that we will see each other in Court. I‘m not leaving.
My decision came only after, but I now see why.
I was feeling bad for her too…. Because she will start paying money to her Lawyer, just for me to ignore that.
But it is what it is. In the end she will realize, I know. The talk will come. I might just initiate it. She is very stubborn and I have seen how she is trying to hold herself together to not give in, but she can‘t hold it much longer.
One big issue for me when talking to her is that we talk in her main Language.
Mine is german, and I am pretty good at it. The other one I‘m not so good at
So this takes points away from my Voice. It feels so uncertain, when talking. Stuttering and missing words. That sucks haha 
This is the golden answer here
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Go easy on your mom.
She’s the person who gave you life, and for that alone, you owe her gratitude. Everything else is secondary.
She carried her own pain and her own trauma, and she acted from that place. Have you ever asked about her childhood? Did anyone ever say kind words to her? Did anyone ever tell her they love her? Did anyone ever hug her? Did she ever feel needed?
Have you ever wondered how healthy the atmosphere was in her family?
You don’t know if she experienced violence as a child. You don’t know about possible humiliation or rejection.
Have you ever once asked your mom: what do you actually feel when you think about your parents? Is there any pain or secret you carry in your heart that you’ve never told anyone about?
You probably don’t know a lot of things.
You can choose to approach the conversation from a place of wanting revenge for all those years, blaming her for everything in your life. Or you can approach it in a way that doesn’t make her shut down forever and push her even further away - a way that lets her feel warmth and care, no matter what words you plan to say to her.
I understand that you have the honor of breaking this huge chain of negative energy that has been passed down through generations. So try to act in a way that not only your ego is proud of you, but your entire lineage is proud of you as well.
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I know some details about her childhood. It was actually pretty good.
My Grandparents were educated People and they were living very well considering the Country they were in.
My Grandfather was a very good father, and my Mother told me that.
My Grandmother was more strict and demanded that her children get a good education and that might have created a pot of pressure.
You see my mother was also very well educated in her home country and she was a teacher.
When she met my father, she loved him very much.
I guess things started falling apart when they moved to Germany, and my father didn‘t do everything right. He made many mistakes, never the cheating kind though.
My mother carries a huge amount of regret, because she feels like she hasn‘t lived her life properly. Her suffering was more during the marriage, or more likely the suffering in her mind.
She was a good mother, I will not deny that and I love her for that. She did what she could. In my early childhood she repeated what her mother did though with the education part.
Many things happened but the main thing in her mind is the regret and the What If.
What if she chose a different man?
What if she learned the german language properly?
I feel that she feels stupid when talking to others in german and that she knows she is smarter.
She has a big Ego in that sense. She gets very hurt when she feels stupid.
I have told her so many times that she can start learning the Language properly so People would show her more respect and appreciate what she says.
When I listen to her in German, she is a different person.
She refuses and says she doesn‘t feel like learning it. „It‘s too late“.
She has the ability to change her life but she is too Lazy for that.
So no, her childhood was good overall, maybe some small traumas here and there, but the main thing in her Life is that she regrets all of it.
That‘s why she divorced my father.
He had already changed a lot, compared to the past. So when she divorced hin, she had to bring up things he did 20 years ago.
To get everyone on her side and paint my dad as the villain.
I will not forget what she did to me, but right now, she is in a terrible spot and she brought herself there.
My brother and me are in a bad position aswell.
Who will take care of her? She is alone as a woman. Her retirement payment will never be enough for her.
When I think about her situation, I feel dread. An Ick in my heart.
It‘s a tough situation. I am trying to get her to start taking responsibility for her actions.
Ever since she left the house and moved to her apartment she hasn‘t done a single productive thing.
She is waching some fucking turkish love Series all day long. She even bought a second TV for her bedroom.
Before she left, she said to me that she will start reading more, cooking more, baking and find some interests.
She hasn‘t done a single thing. She goes to work comes home, sleeps and then either watched TV or goes out with her b*tch best friend.
That friend of hers is also a big reason for the divorce. Stupid woman. She was divorced herself and later on she found a man, just as her life partner.
My mother saw that and one can find a man and this could work.
And that friend of hers has influenced my mother in so many ways, causing her to lose connection with my dad.
My mother has told me in several instances, that she might look for another man. She dropped it as bread crumbs to see how I would react.
And my scared and manipulated ass didn‘t dare to say a thing, even though I knew what she was doing was wrong.
That‘s why she is so angry at my aunt, because my aunt said something similar to her. And she got so mad at her and told me to never speak to my aunt again.
Well that‘s exactly what I did.
You see that story? Kinda interesting!
My mother is someone who is trying to run away from the ugly truth. Trying to keep me and others away from the truth, so she doesn‘t have to go within.
You can tell me to go easy on her, but I was easy on her more than enough.
I will do one final act as an adult child, who believes he has to teach his own mother a lesson, so she can finally start caring for herself and living in truth with herself.
Not running away from truth.
I habe shared a lot of personal stuff here, but that‘s okay for me
I hope other can benefit here aswell!
I will not use my Ego for this. This is not about revenge. And I am not even really mad at anything right now.
It is just the desire for truth. And it burns so strong.
I think I was running away here aswell.
But I felt like this is not my problem to solve. It is her choice and she has to deal with the consequences.
I can however, after setting up my boundaries clearly, offer a helping hand to the woman who has birthed and raised me and shown me love during my childhood.
She is my mother and I love her, but I can no longer sacrifice myself and my life, because she regrets her own life choices.
I can no longer accept the manipulation and guilt attempts. It is wrong and a mother should not do that to her child.
When she finally accepts the truth, I will be there to help her and I will help my whole lineage with Fields etc.
Things might be tough for a while but I think we will manage that
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Everyone’s story is giving me lesson and its great to be part of this forum.
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It just sounds like an unhealthy situation all around. I am getting horrible vibes from reading your story.
It sounds like your mother is being retaliatory and manipulative.
This sentence was very telling. It sounds like she is putting this on you and try to resort to shame, guilt, obligation and manipulation.
I think this is a calling to get your financial life together and move out. Pursue your goals and if that means downgrading the place you live in… well bro that’s not really a downgrade. You’ll be free.
When the people in our family make a mess, it’s important that the mess stays in their lane. Don’t engage at their level because it may be what they want (i.e. to start drama, make you emotionally instable etc.). Most important it will affect you on a deep level.
Instead keep the mess on their lane and live your best life. If you have to distance yourself from your mother, it isn’t an act of revenge. Sometimes the most love we can show others is simply not to put up with their bad behavior. You may be actually giving your relationship a chance to mend. Always maintain a dynamic in which both persons involved are valid, their feelings and thoughts are valid and you are equal.
On a personal and more generic note (it may not apply to your situation), what I do when there is foul play (whether it’s a family member, a friend etc.) is I give them every chance I can to stop hurting me and prove to me that their intentions are good. Once I know for a fact that they have no good intentions, I simply stop caring what they think or say about me. I create distance and wish them the best. It sounds cold, but I am giving them a chance to learn that hurting others is not acceptable. I honestly think no one deserves to be treated with deliberate malice by anyone else. And when someone is deliberately trying to hurt you, it’s no accident either.
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Could you guys keep posting things relevant to RS please. We might make a seperate chapter to discuss on personal issue.
These personal topics help a lot of grateful people with their healing, and they were actually a continuation of the conversation about the reality shifter.
I’d like to follow your example, but…
Since November 18, 2024, you’ve only written three messages… including this one.
Set an example for all of us -show us the way)
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Thank you for the kind words and encouragement! I personally prefer to keep things brief and stay focused on the actual content so I don’t derail the thread — but please don’t let that stop you! Feel free to share as much as you’d like. Sometimes I ask help from Polaris and Maitreya though in personal chat.
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A huge number of people are afraid to share what’s inside them because they’ve been traumatized.
The idea behind the forum was not only for people to get answers to their questions about the fields, but also to have a space where they don’t have to be afraid of being judged - where they can express themselves, talk about their problems, not be afraid of being wrong, not be afraid of making mistakes, and feel safe receiving advice and support from others.
So I think that’s how it will continue to be
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Ty u for expressing this, I am one of those people. This place has become my safe haven.
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This forum is my back bone from last year. Thanks for writing for us.
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I have to say, I believe this field is unreal… I use it with some other producers boosters and its undeniable… today my vision went grid like while doing a shift, everything was almost tiny binary squares, like I had bad eye site but maybe imaginea very refined computer graphics version of that.. unbelievable work…
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