There’s a common belief that we only grow through pain – “no pain, no gain” – even spiritually. But is that truly how it has to be, or is it just a deeply ingrained story we’ve accepted? Maybe some growth does come from tough times, but maybe we don’t need to suffer as much as we think.
Do you feel your biggest growth came from painful experiences or from peaceful ones?
Have you ever grown a lot in a way that felt gentle and even joyful?
What do you personally believe about the relationship between suffering and evolution?
In my view, suffering arises when a person goes against the Universal Laws and violates them — when they believe their own ideas are superior, when they insist on doing whatever they want without regard for the Whole, for the greater system. They don’t care if others will be harmed by their actions, and even worse is when they do know this yet continue anyway in order to gain personal benefit.
In a living organism, every cell has its specific function. If a cell decides to become something else and stops caring about the entire organism, it becomes a cancer cell, and the body attacks it. When there are many such cells, they exhaust the body and it eventually dies. But in the Universe, such extreme harm is not permitted. When someone begins to generate great negativity, the Universe intervenes quickly, preventing them from causing large-scale damage.
In this sense, this type of suffering is not only not voluntary — it is necessary, so that beings can self-regulate.
However, this is usually not the case for most people. Most suffer because of faulty patterns they learned from their parents or from strange spiritual systems — and then they recreate this suffering in their own mind.
I believe that if a person chooses to follow the path of the soul, has morality, and holds love for themselves and others, everything else naturally aligns. Their evolution becomes voluntary and filled with more pleasant experiences, instead of a forced development of virtues.
My greatest growth came when I saw some of myself in my children when they were young. And then I started learing about traumas and the energy we carry, why we react the way we do. That was my biggest growth. I hear that from so many people about suffering and learning and having to have pain. No amount of shit I went through ever taught me about what was going on inside of me
If viewed solely by modern world sense, then suffering is beneficial for growth.
It depends on what kind of suffering of course. Are we talking about mental or physical pain.
Mental Pain usually just keeps us from coming back to ourselves. Overthinking, Stress, Worry etc.
These are things that really are just unnecessary. The do not contribute to development, they only halt it.
Physical Pain on the other in form of training, has helped me find a lot of confidence. Especially when I was doing martial Arts.
I would always feel so good afterwards and also very proud. And to this day, when I accomplish a good session and give it my all I feel good and I grow.
This keeps me calm in stressful situations, because I know that I can endure a lot and my own actions are proof of that.
Then again, I also have other types of physical Pain that just suck so bad and I absolutely hate it. The only possible benefit I see there is that, once I resolve this issue, I will be more grateful for my health and treat myself better.
If I view it from another perspective, then what I just said might not be clear.
But surely there is a reason why people suffer. I just don‘t know it😅
When you said . “But in the Universe, such extreme harm is not permitted. When someone begins to generate great negativity, the Universe intervenes quickly, preventing them from causing large-scale damage” i would really like to see that actually happen in my field!
For me, the initial motivation came through intense suffering over many years. At some point, my system broke and it has taken many years after that to put things together. Massive growth did happen during that phase. Now, there is more choice to choose the more joyful path.
I think, now that suffering is a program-a residue from initial days, a primary impulse left for us as a feedback mechanism to change stuff. Once you really care for your own soul growth and can trust the path ahead suffering becomes unnecessary and you can make the right decisions without being berated by the program. Assuming that by this time the soul can distinguish unease due to growth & unnecessary suffering.
Edit: After I wrote this, I had a weird shift. I decided to let go of the “warrior” identity who overcame stuff. I shifted to see it as a cranky child identity who had asked the Divine Parents, -”show me how much you love and support me” and sure enough they did in different ways for me to realize in my bones that I am loved and supported. All of what I navigated was to reaffirm my love for and Divine’s for me. I am back to being a spoilt child who is smothered in love by the Divine Parents.
I’ve realized that the “no pain, no gain” mindset is just an old habit we shouldn’t believe in anymore.
Suffering isn’t necessary. Life isn’t a prison. We don’t have to struggle just to become wiser. We only get stuck in crises when we are afraid or don’t know how to change consciously.
Peaceful growth is more effective. Pain only gives us bits of experience and a constant feeling of being “never good enough.” Real, deep changes happen in peace and joy-when you move forward with excitement rather than out of desperation.
Joy is the best engine. When I enjoy what I’m doing, hard work turns into a fun game. I’m not “struggling” through life; I’m simply expanding my potential.
Suffering is just a signal that I’ve forgotten I’m the one in charge. I don’t want to learn from mistakes or pay for success with my mental health anymore. My choice is to create my reality easily, through love and clear intention.
One of my favorite things from people like hear everyday is “I’m surviving “ people seem to want to survive everything! When my boys say that to me, I tell them we are not here to survive, we are here to live! Sometimes I tell that to random people that I hear say that.
My latest realization is that suffering makes you realize you have a choice: what do you want to experience? Suffering makes you realize you can choose not to experience suffering, not to experience painful emotions. Yesterday, I discovered that I actually enjoyed experiencing sadness and pain, trapped in a quagmire of emotions from which I had become accustomed (automated neural pathways, unconscious), and felt awkward in clear water. Yesterday, using my subconscious connector, I powerfully declared: delete my liking for experiencing sadness, install my liking for experiencing love and joy; delete my liking for experiencing scarcity, install my liking for experiencing abundance…
