I‘m gonna help again

General discussion
1

Right now I am clearing my Room of my old Stuff because I need the Space.

Only my Bed is left and I decided that I wanted to either throw it away, or just give it away for free. I chose to first try and give it away, so I put it online and wrote that it‘s a Present.

But I also wrote it‘s for People, who can transport it themselves.

Yesterday a woman asked me if she could see the Bed, and I told her yea sure np!

We made an appointment for today. And she wrote „we are on our way now“.

So I figured she was coming with her husband.

When she wrote that she arrived, I saw through the door a woman and no Husband but 2 children. One probably 11 years old and the other 5 or6 years old.

I was surprised of course, but I didn‘t think too much of it. „Maybe she just want to pre check the bed out“ I thought.

I brought them to where the Bed was and then after a Minute I knew the whole Situation.

A single mother with 2 children, filled with desperation.

She said that she liked the bed, but then told me that she has no one to help her with carrying it or even transporting it.

You know what I thought at first?

„Oh man, she is just here to get me to do it for her“

The bed is free. It used to cost 400€ back then, but I‘m giving it away for free, with the only requirement being that it is transported by the person taking it.

I started playing my old program of being used by others with no appreciation. As an empath you tend to give too much for People who aren‘t even grateful.

While she was talking, I was telling myself to stay strong and cold, because „She just wants to use me“.

The little girl was looking at me the whole time. Blonde with beautiful blue eyes. So innocent and so cute, but she looked somewhat sad.

I was able to tell that they are not having a great time on this planet.

While the woman was talking I also got the Idea that she planned all this and told her daughter to look at me with sad eyes, so I would become empathic towards them and help them with the bed. That‘s how far my thinking can go in a second.

And I truly believe she planned at least to visit me, look at the bed and then tell me that her daughter really wants it, but she „has to find a way to transport it as quickly as possible, but no one can help her“. So yeah it was very very obvious to me, that it‘s manipulation.

But….

Who cares. Something inside me just switched. Why was I thinking that??

Why do I still carry these old programs of hurt inside me. At first I responded cold to her and with every word that would hint at her needing help I gave her the body language answer of „ Do it yourself, I‘m not helping“.

But I couldn‘t. I could not keep going like that. I knew that she was manipulating me, but I stopped caring about that.

I removed the veil of hurt from my eyes and ears and tuned in to this little Family Situation. And I saw a desperate mother trying her best to make her children happy, while barely holding herself together. Having to go to a stranger and depending on his help, all for her children.“ Money is tight, and hey there is a free bed for my daughter, I want that for her!“

Yes, she came to manipulate me, but I chose to see that she came for help.

The little girl kept looking at me too with those eyes that want to be saved.

It broke my heart.

I chose to ignore my cynic thoughts and told her that I will help her with the bed and that it‘s hers. I‘ll take it offline.

I said that she should get a transport and I will organize the carrying with a friend.

I showed a glimpse of humanity. And you know what kind of eyes she had?

It‘s either „I can‘t believe this worked“

Or „Thank you God“

It was a choice, pure and simple.

Either behave like the Matrix wants me to behave. Cold and heartless.

Or make my own choice and trust that I can help again. There is this Woman and her 2 daughters and they probably have never been shown kindness in their life. So „I‘m gonna show them kindness, no matter if it‘s manipulation or not“

And I don‘t care, it‘s my choice and I am strong enough go handle one more manipulation.

So now I‘m even gonna bring the bed to her house without her lifting a finger. And I won‘t charge a Cent.

All I will say is „I‘m happy I could help you“

That‘s it.

I‘m not a fucking robot with no heart.

2

I acknowledge that part of me that is bad and wrong, that is a fucking robot with no heart, and I give it a place in my life :upside_down_face:

3

I think it may still be worth working a little more on the relationship you have with your mother and on the beliefs that relationship may have created for you.

Not all women are manipulative, although of course manipulative women do exist. Sometimes, when we have experienced a certain pattern very strongly in childhood, we can become especially sensitive to it later and start noticing it everywhere — or unconsciously feel drawn to familiar dynamics in relationships. That doesn’t mean this will necessarily happen to you, but healing the original wound can help you see people more individually, without having to look at every situation through the same lens.

Also, helping a woman is not automatically a sign that you are being manipulated. Many men genuinely enjoy protecting, supporting, providing, solving problems, or simply being useful to someone they care about. There is a big difference between choosing to help freely and being pressured, guilt-tripped, or controlled into doing something.

The important thing is to be able to recognize that difference and make your decisions from a calm place rather than from fear of being manipulated.

Anyway, congrats on deciding to help them. :slight_smile:

4

I may sound quite dumb right now, but I believe we always have to help women and children even if they are ungrateful.
I think the line with women is when they are putting you in harms way or when you are becoming and enabler. And you should never get involved with an ungrateful or manipulative woman (not just for a relationship, even work, family member etc.).
With children there is no line. We’re here to protect them and take care of them plain and simple.