Do we really have Missions?

Spiritual Practices
21

I used to have terrible nightmarish visions when I was young, all red and black. My mother used to put an iron blade by my pillow to ward things off. Then when I was, less than 7 I faced SA, it really ungrounded me and ruptured something in me. I could feel things around and shut things down.
My mum got chronically and I kind of ended up in a childhood that was very dry and loveless.

I lost the will to live for many years, and would hurt myself a lot, like cutting myself, punching walls till I bled. I was born in a family that does daily worship but not overtly religious or spiritual. So I would pray sometimes but I could not trust that something out there was taking care of me.

I had a lot of flying visions and some times I would be in uncomfortable spaces that I later came to understand as humiliation rituals in the astral.

Every day I told myself, by a certain age I would complete all my responsibilities and be a recluse. I started reading about Dzogchen and Daoism when I was a teenager. I contemplated on these and spoke with people but I didn’t have enough people around me who were far progressed and could answer all my queries. I went the whole shitty route- alcohol, smoking, drugs, corn, psychedelics to destroy myself and make sense of the mess when everything seemed pointless.

The good thing is, I was very high performing and could maintain the social success and facade with some effort. It prevented people from prodding into me too much. I successfully navigated multiple higher education degrees, business opening and closure, world travel, moving cities and countries, corporate positions in career on one side and went through abortion, engagement, being cheated on, abandoned in my personal life on the other. And amongst all this, I just wanted out.

Nothing could get me out of the deep stench of darkness I felt always lingering in me. When I was in my late 20s, I had a terrible breakdown and it kept getting worse. I was loosing memory in chunks and real life seemed very fragmented. I started praying every day in the morning and making sure that I always lit a small candle every day. I woke up often feeling like I am drifting through black space alone for eternity. I had a vision that told me my path and showed me a few symbols, flashes of my past lives. I kept having visions for a few months that showed me the grid like structure of things, how packets of information moved and transferred, the recursive nature of reality and other sacred geometry. I also started seeing dead people, other beings again. Deities as well, deities who came through to me during this time are some of the most fiercest ones of the Sanatan tradition and two from Vajrayana tradition. I could easily connect to the Akashic and other dimensions at this time. I was not in a super stable space so it was frightening at times. I got into all energetic practices at once during this time including meditation. My daily routine includes prayer, rituals, reiki healing, extensive meditation and chanting. I tried so many modes of healing during this time, spoke with my ancestors and learnt sacred geometry, breathwork, Gnosticism during this time. These have been my most turbulent yet eye opening years. The thing is I could make through this with no other human by my side supporting me and that was only possible due to grace. In 2023, I came to Maitreya, my life started getting stable and the journey continues.

My past lives that opened up during this phase was that of a psychic, a monk, a fallen Tantrik, a Celtic magic practitioner. Some of my older lives are in Sumeria and sometimes I hear a language that seems to be Avestan. I am linked to the times of Knights Templar, not as a high ranking officer but someone humble who guided folks on their way. Most of my recent lives have been spirituality heavy. The other lives have been heavy with pilgrimage and justice work.

Writing this actually made me nostalgic and I went back to one of the first appreciation posts I made here.

I am so glad I came here and never left.

22

Woah, what stories you guys have.

I’m glad that we are here at this Time and Space, facing this Mess together.

What Joy we will have when we finally come back home. :smiley:

Stay Strong, we got this!

We will fulfill our Missions :slightly_smiling_face:

23

Wow, I’m so impressed with your journey Mai :sparkling_heart:, I don’t even have 0.1% knowledge of the real spirituality what you and the forum members know. I even hesitate to involve when you people talk high level knowledge :sweat_smile:. There’s so much for me to learn, discover, awaken. I’m always in awe when I read forum, best place and best people!

24

Thank you for sharing your story :folded_hands: So impressive

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We are all on a very long and interesting journey, and it’s wonderful that we have the forum where we can talk, share, and help each other. That way, no lightworker is ever alone :blue_heart:

26

On a different note, I had watched A Dog’s Purpose recently and loved it. It’s about a dog reincarnating and living different lives.

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I would love to read that dog story.

29

Wow, what a fantastic discussion, and thank you so much to everyone for sharing your stories. I really enjoyed reading it and my heart is filled with so much love for all of you. I wish I could give you all a big hug.

It’s so refreshing to find a safe space where we can discuss things of this nature, because most of the time the things that I have experienced will make me sound nuts if I try and discuss it with others :sweat_smile:

I want to share some of the things that I’ve experienced. Ever since I can remember I’ve had spiritual and/or paranormal experiences. I’ve had an extreme longing to go home since very little, like I was missing my real family and I was just a visitor here. I remember being obsessed with flying and being very upset that I wasn’t able to fly here. I remember seeing colourful energies out of the corner of my eyes all the time (blues, yellows, oranges, etc) but being scared because I didn’t know what they were. It was only years later while meditating with an intercession field that I got a message that it was my real family checking up on me. Still not sure who they are :person_shrugging:

I remember the first horrific nightmare I had (I was maybe about 4 years old) was that I was trapped in what I could only describe as hell. Fire, brimstone, and demons grinning and smirking at me, like they knew I was trapped.

I’ve always been bullied, doesn’t matter how much I tried to do and be my best. It started with my father, who treated me so poorly, yelling at me for nothing. If I did nothing wrong and he was still unhappy and angry with me, I thought maybe it’s because there was something wrong with me, so I internalised that. I contemplated running away from home since very young, and eventually started getting extremely depressed and suicidal because I felt so trapped. I was filled with so much love for everyone, and all I got in return is nastiness. I started shutting down. I cut myself on my arms and wrists, not deep, but enough to bleed and leave scars. Still no one checked on me but I understand that everyone has their own problems. I came across a quote a few years ago and everything made sense: “Your light irritates their shadow.” In the past it would have caused me to shrink down, but now I feel more motivated than ever to shine my light brighter every day.

I’ve had extremely interesting dreams that felt very real and important, so much so that I can still recall them years later. Two that stand out: The first one I suspect might be from a past life. I remember being a young shaman boy in training in a tribe from Central or South America (perhaps Mayan?) and being so frustrated with the elders because they were stuck in tradition and their old ways and I was trying to show them that there was a better way. I remember a scout came back with news about someone being hurt in the mountains and I knew I would be able to help them by using my healing powers.

The other dream I had is that I was part of a group of angels sent to earth to help and I remember seeing people in pain and suffering, particularly a young boy in hospital and I remember feeling so much heartbreak for them, me touching their tiny foot trying to comfort them and being so overcome with grief for them and I remember asking why do I have to feel everything so deeply and feel so much pain and agony for their suffering and being shown a large wheel spinning slowly and every time I felt love and compassion it made the wheel spin faster and the feeling I got was that the wheel spinning faster was representative of humanity’s evolution speeding up because of us helping raise the vibration.

One paranormal experience I had which was very weird: I was sleeping over at a friend’s house and I woke up in the middle of the night and seeing someone standing in the room, leaning casually against the wall, deep in thought. A split second after I noticed them, they looked at me with a shocked look in their eyes, like I wasn’t supposed to see them. At the time I was so used to seeing paranormal things, that I just ignored it and turned around and went back to sleep. It wasn’t someone I recognised and it wasn’t someone that broke in. I didn’t get a bad vibe or anything, it was just weird.

I had a serious experience a few years ago (because of that is when my audio journey began) where I kept waking up at exactly 3am for a few nights in a row with a feeling of dread. It kept happening, until one night I woke up from the matress sagging as if something stepped or sat there and my body rolling into that hole. When I tell you I have never in my life felt such an evil presence, I’m not kidding. My body reacted as if its intelligence could perceive something that my logic couldn’t, an ancient survival instinct that kicked in that told me that something was seriously wrong and this was a life or death situation. I absolutely refused to open my eyes because I didn’t want to see whatever it was. I knew I didn’t want to give it any attention and power. I was laying there shaking and praying. Praying to God, Jesus, Archangel Michael and Gabriel and literally anything good and holy in this universe that would listen. After a few minutes that felt like an eternity, I felt it move away. A few moments later I heard my husband stirring, I gathered up the courage to ask if he was awake and he replied with “Yeah, I heard someone whispering in my ear” :anxious_face_with_sweat: Needless to say I looked up every “clear negative energy” audio out there and that’s how I eventually came across Maitreya fields!

The last experience I want to share which is way more positive: Years ago I had a huge fight with my mom, I can’t even remember what it was about but I was super upset. I was just so done. I got in my car and drove a while. All the while crying so much I couldn’t even see. I kept begging to not feel this pain anymore. I was so sick of feeling so heartbroken. All of sudden as I was driving underneath a grove of trees that made a sort of tunnel over the road, it’s as if a veil got lifted from reality and I could see everything as it really was. And what it was, was a fierce powerful unconditional love that permeated the structure of reality as we know it. The very force holding the atoms and molecules together was pure unconditional love. And I heard a voice say: “It’s all for you”. That was the most beautiful experience I ever had.

Sorry if it’s all a bit disjointed, but I just had to get it out. Thank you so much to everyone :purple_heart:

30

You handled the situation really well! Sometimes they do things like that just to scare people, but you didn’t fall for it and everything went smoothly without any issues.