Im new to this forum, had lots of time spent with sapien in the past.
Does anyone knows what we can do, when needs in a relationship are and stay unfulfilled for a specific reason, but love is there? Needs like attention, tenderness and vicinity are frustrated at the moment, and i dont know, when we get it back… What can i do to stop being frustrated and getting sad, angry about her behaves… I think it’s ego blabla that im feeling like this, because i dont get what i want from her…
We all need love and intimacy. I think there is no reason to call it addiction as if there is something wrong with it. Just sometimes the person we love can’t respond due to many reasons, sometimes they want to move on, sometimes they do love us but have trauma and were damaged and can’t show it or can’t get deeply committed to someone. Then the best thing is to focus on ourselves and think why we are afraid to let go of something that does not make us happy, or see if there is anything else in us that needs healing and acceptance and self love and self compassion are always needed.
I’ve read the other responses above so I’m not going to re-cover the same ground nor contradict any of it but want to address a little of a different piece of the picture.
You say you want something from her that she isn’t giving. Ok, that’s not good or bad yet without knowing more.
Here are some rhetorical questions for you. These are questions I would ask myself if in your situation in order to get things in perspective.
The affection or attention you want from her, would it harm her to give it to you? I’m keeping this intentionally vague and open-ended. Harm - self worth, dignity, time and ability to accomplish important goals, etc.
Does she know what you want? Have you said it to her explicitly?
Do you have as much desire to give her what she wants as you do for her to give you what you want?
I hope these questions will help you find some underlying simplicity in your situation.
Thanks for your answers. The last few days i made some observations, listened to love related fields and im feeling much better with my situation… I have understanding for her behaves and like my optimal thought view of relationship, we have to be a gift for each other and not sad and angry, because the partner isn’t fullfilling our needs, because she’s not really able at the moment. Lots of work with this hollywood implemented shit, how relationship work🙈 together with childhoodtrauma etc…